Story of our life time

PROLOGUE

My mom, a successful business woman, she often told me: "love is like fireworks, it's beautiful but it only last for a split second." At this moment she was right, love had a time limit and my time was up.

Everything in my life changed when I saw that massage. The girl in the phone looked effortlessly gorgeous with her long straight black hair and her doll like eyes, in the photo she was wearing a white dress shirt that's clearly too big to be hers. The caption reads: "I had fun last night xoxo!"

I recognize that shirt, the same shirt we bought together on our first date is now sliding of the shoulder of a half naked girl. I turned off his phone immediately, if I stared at the picture any longer I would lose it. I sat on his bed wondering how long it has been going on, I wondered what they did and where they did it. Was it on this very bed? The thought made me sick.

After what feels like infinity, he came out from the shower with his usual charming smile like nothing has happened. I had so much to ask him, so much to say to him, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I told him I was feeling sick and wanted to go home, he tried to stop me but I insisted. Everything after that was a blur, I don't remember when the bus came or how I managed to get myself home. That night, I cried and cried and cried, I wondered about why I wasn't good enough, is it because she could give him the one thing I was not willing to? Sex. Is sex really that important in a relationship? We had our romantic times and unforgettable memories, we spend all our free time at school together. I cooked for him and he made me feel like the centre of the world. Everything was perfect until it wasn't anymore.

After a long night of crying and over thinking, I made my first mistake; I decided to pretend like I did not know. For month, I acted like nothing happened, trying to grab onto him; to become prettier, better, nicer, to get things to go back to the way they used to be. Nothing worked, the dark thoughts slowing eating away my happiness leaving me an empty shell of a human being.

In the moment of desperation, I made my second mistake; I decided to give him the thing he wants the most. I remember that particular Monday like it's engraved into my soul, I ware a little bit more make up then usual and a skirt that is too short for my taste. He enjoyed it, he could not keep his hands off of me during class. After school he brought me to his house, before I could even take off my shoes he grabbed me and kissed me, harder then usual. He picked me up and throw me on to his bed, he took off his jacket and belt, and went on to unbutton my shirt. My heart was beating so fast, my breath got heavier and his kisses got harder. He reached behind my back and unhooked my bra like he have done it a million times before.

That thought made my heart stop.

He and done it a million times before.

With that girl.

I can't do this.

I pushed him away and quickly picked up my things off the ground and ran out of the door.
I could hear him yell after me but I didn't care, I ran away as fast as I can, I ran to the station and took the first bus home. I came home to a text massage from him asking if I was okay, he says he understand and it's fine. I replied by saying how sorry I was for running off like that.

After that we dated for an other month of so, during this time he was still in contact with the girl, eventually I could not take it anymore and we broke up. He said I was a good girl and I deserved someone better, I wanted to cry and sketch his face off. "If I was a good girl why did you need her?" That question lingered on the tip of my tongue and never came out. I felt exhausted and painful, my eyes were swollen from too much tears but it kept coming. The memories and the happy times hunted me for weeks.

I felt lost. I had to act like I was fine in front of my friends and family in order to keep them from worrying. My friends did a great job distracting me from thinking too much, but at night when it's just me and my thoughts he always finds a way to creep into my brain.

Finally after many weeks or even month, I decided it was time to move on. I already wasted enough time on him, it's time to focus on myself.