Cold Hearted [h.s] ~on hold~

Cold Hearted [h.s]

*Flashback*

I sat next to the heating roasting fire, keeping me warm in the winter weather, looking over old albums of me and grace. It’s been 2 years since I first set eyes on her, and I’d repeat it all over again, even though she was a tough piece of work.

I sipped on some hot chocolate with small marshmallows, just how I like it. Grace always made the best hot chocolate. I stretched my legs out on the fluffy rug, and turned the album page. I came across a picture where she’s stuffing a cupcake into my face, and there’s frosting everywhere and I instantly smiled reminiscing the old memories, I had to show her.

“Babe, what’s taking so long, it doesn’t take that long to pick out a movie” I shouted, eager to show her the funny picture. I held the page with my left thumb and continued scrolling through the book, but I got no answer from her, so I got up and headed to our bedroom to look for her.

“Grace?” I peered through the door, and the front balcony windows were wide open, gushing in the wind. I went to go and close it when she was standing in front of me, feet on the edge of the brick wall looking forward and back up.

“Wha- What are you doing? Get down from there silly.” I stepped towards her chuckling. “Take one more step towards me, and i’ll be on the flying through the wind in seconds.” “What are you talking about, Grace this isn’t funny, get down here now. Please.” I tried to reason with her, only this wasn’t the only time she attempted at her death.

“I can’t do this anymore harry, with dad and mum gone I really can’t. I can’t breathe. I can’t sleep. I can’t think. And I know i’ve been acting fine but inside im breaking into little pieces and.. I just want to be at piece.” She tears up in front of me, I hated to see her like this.

“We can get through this! You know we can!” I was in tears, nothing ever hurt me more than seeing her so hurt and broken. To think that this is all because of me, just when I thought we were okay, when I thought I finally got onto my own two feet with my life, this happens again.

“There’s only so much I can take for you Harry, there’s only so much.” She sighed and wiped away her tears. “Just remember, I’m not doing this because of you, I’m doing this because I love you and I won’t hold you back anymore.”

“Grace, you don’t have to do this! Please!” I cried and shrieked out loud enough for the whole neighbours to hear, only I didn’t care.

“Good-bye Harry, I love you.” Before I could take a step forward, she leaned her body backwards and let herself go down, flying and flying down, but her soul went up, where she wanted to be.

“GRACE! NO!” I ran to the edge of the wall, but everything was too late. She lay on top of a now broken car, people rushing and running towards her and crowding. But it was too late, it was just too late. She’s gone, and It’s all because of me. And i’ll never learn to forgive myself for that, ever.

*Present time*

Harry’s P.O.V

“and that’s the story, of how I led my girlfriend to her own death. Now tell me, do you still want me to buy you that drink ey?” I slurred on my speech and my vision was a blur as I spoke to the little slut in front of me, begging herself with complete desperation.

“You’re fucked up, you really are fucked up!” she shouted in fear as she grabbed her purse from the bar table and quickly ran away, out of the doors, shaking. It’s not a first, and I don’t expect it to be a last, they all just run. All of them.

“Yeah yeah, aren’t we all a bit fucked up some times.” I spoke to myself, even though she ran herself away. I gulped down the drink in one go in front of me, and slammed it back on the table for the bartender to give me another.

“That’s enough for tonight, why don’t you get yourself home now son ey, it’s cold out and it’s getting late.” His cockney accent pissed me off and the fact that he refused to give me what I wanted pissed me off even more.

“I’ll get myself home as soon as you fucking pour me another drink!” she stared at me in shock before pouring me another drink.

“This is for you Grace, Happy birthday. I love you.” I held up the glass as I stared up into the ceiling, where she’s now. My little angel, sleeping peacefully.

I got her where she is today, I drove her so far that no one can ever take the pressure. I’m a complete fuck up and there’s no hope for me, and there never will be. I’m just a drunken man, drinking away his sorrows, but the pain will always be there, and it’ll never leave my side, and her death, it’ll just haunt me forever. Cause i’ll always be Harry Styles, the Fuck up.