The Boy Under The Azaleas

Happy room

Thank god school is over. I flop onto my bed of my favourite place, my room.
I turn over so I'm face down on my fluffy pillow and groan.
I am such an idiot! No! My life is the idiot! I wish everything could be okay...All of this....it's exhausting, it's terrifying...
I just punched a wall too...now not only are my brain and heart strained of pain, but so is my freaking fist!
I feel my phone buzz in my blazer pocket, I dig it out and see that some one has sent me a direct message on my Twitter...
I unlock my phone and start to read.

Hey, it's Uriel..that weird lanky dude in your form. A friend told me your Twitter and so I just wanted to ask if every thing is okay. I was concerned when you ran off when I asked for your name. I'm guessing it's Derrick, telling from your bio, cool name. Any way, Is everything alright? You can tell me if there is and I'll try my very best because you seem like a decent person.

What am I supposed to say? Thank you? Can I trust him? Can I trust him with my secret? He seems genuine. Why am I so nervous? Why do I have butterflies? Probably because everything is complicated and I'm a right mess...
I feel a tear drop down my face. In the spur of the moment I spill, not to much but still enough.

Thank you a lot for being concerned...I feel like I can trust you as you seem like a decent guy yourself. If I'm honest I'm really not okay.

(He replies.)

Why aren't you okay?

Can I completely trust you that you will be open minded and not tell anyone?...

I completely promise, you can trust me.

I am transgender so if you don't know what that means I'll give you an explanation. Gender and sex are different in the fact that gender is about mental and cultural factors rather than biological ones. Sex is the state of having certain reproductive parts..so they are completely different things. So my gender is male but not my sex....

I don't care, I see everyone equally so if you're a boy you're a boy and that doesn't have anything to do with your body parts or your organs plus it shouldn't matter and people shouldn't think it's any of there business. Why is it troubling you? (Just putting out there when I saw you I wouldn't have known unless I had known you prior to your current appearance.)

Thank god, thank you for that comment too. It's really troubling because my parent doesn't except me at all, she has thrown out all of my normal clothes and replaced them with dresses, skirts and other things (although luckily I have hidden some normal clothes.) I can't bring myself to go outside anymore when it isn't school and she tries to make me wear a skirt to school and I have to risk being late almost everyday to wait for her to go to work so I can change into trousers. My life is going no where, people at school who have found out taunt me in and out of school. Other things have happened too but I don't want to worry or take up your time on MY problem.

I'm so sorry, Jesus I am and I will listen to you, Derrick. I don't care if it takes up my time because although its your problem, it shouldn't have to be. How about we meet after school on Friday? Till then we could hang out at breaks at school.

I'd really appreciate that. Thanks for talking to me about this.

It's not a problem. Hey, how about we go round my house on Friday and you can have some of my clothes if they are a little small for me, not saying your small..

No it's fine, I am quite small ha.

It's not a bad thing, it doesn't make you look any less like a boy...it's quite cute actually...

Cute?

No! Not cute....attractive?!

No Im not offended I am just flattered I guess...

(And hella nervous.)

That's good then ha. So....you can definitely hang on Friday?

Yeah, it sounds cool and like a good idea but gtg I should probably get some early sleep as i didn't sleep last night for some reasons.. I'll have to be brave! Ha

I wish you wouldn't have to be brave..anyway, have a good sleep, I'll see you tomorrow.

Thanks, goodnight.

Goodnight, Derrick.

Sick name by the way.

Hah, thanks. Same to you.

(I haven't eaten anything since lunch...it's to late now...I guess...)

Wait have you eaten dinner? I don't recall you leaving to get one..not trying to be creepy but just concerned, I guess. I ate mine while on here.

I did that too.

(I lie.)

Good. bye then.

Bye and thanks again.

I think something great just happened....