My life problems

friends???

so basically at school I used to have a best friend i think? and well shes become distant recently like some days she'll be really close with me others she'll be quite distant, she never invites me anywhere and barely texts me it's nearly always me trying to start this stuff

but at school i have 2 friends one of them isn't really allowed to go out after school due to her parents and their thoughts and beliefs as well as her religion (not going into detail wit that)

the other one is really shy and doesn't go out much and she doesn't really like doing things without a parent or knowing its a safe environment things

but all my other really really close friends who are probably my best friends like in general live over an 1 hour away which doesn't sound like that long but when your parents are over protective and don't let you catch the train and your dad is always working and your mum is working full time as well with the fact my pa just passed away and that was my mums dad theres a lot of stress at the moment in my family.

living in a stressful environment when you have anxiety is the worst especially when you have had eating disorders and really bad depression.

But basically this means my parents won't let me catch the train to see my friends or my parents won't drive me there and so basically I'm always at home alone crying and that's the worst part of it all and i can't tell any of them because they won't understand or they'll stop inviting me places because I'm not allowed and I'm scared of rejection and no one caring about me anymore...

I think I'm starting to lose the people I care most about because they never cared about me to begin with