His girl 《Jikook》

프롤로그 - Prologue

AN: this story takes place in Korea but I've never been to Korea even though I wish I have(￣Д￣)ﾉ Japan yes, Korea no. Pls excuse inaccuracies bc idk much about life in Korea. This is just a super short prologue so please excuse that. Next chapter will be longer

As a child I was always told that I look like my mother.

Even before I transitioned people would comment on the similarities between us, compliment us on our almond shaped eyes and pale skin. My mother would joke about the two of us being twins instead of parent and child. She stopped making jokes like that a long time ago.

"Jimin, are you ready?" My mother asks. In the three years I had been away from school, she seemed to have aged fifteen years. Her eyes still have the brightness that's present in teenage photos of her but now they the spark they used to have. They look tired and cautious now.

"I'm ready." I reply. I try to keep my voice firm for her sake but it still cracks slightly. I had checked over my appearance at least a dozen times in the last hour, trying my best to look presentable and I still didn't feel confident. My legs look and feel too chubby in the short school skirt, my eyes too small, my bangs too long and my skin too pale. I would find one more fault every time I looked until I finally decided to stop looking.

My mom instantly realizes what's going on in my head and gives my hand a small squeeze, making me look away from the living room mirror and into her kind eyes. "Listen honey, you look beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm so proud to have you as my daughter."

"Umma," I say, trying to keep my voice steady but I'm already tearing up. "Don't make me mess up my eyeliner."

My mother laughs and shakes her head as she takes a sip from her coffee. It's all she's had in days. It makes me sick knowing that she's too stressed to even eat and is growing thinner at an alarming rate while I can't stop stuffing my face and getting fatter every passing day. My grandmother had brought it up the last time she came to visit, rather spitefully, and it ended with my mom and her in a yelling match while I locked myself in my room and tried not to throw up my dinner.

"Do you want me to walk you to school and talk to your teachers?" My mom asks, one of her eyebrows raised elegantly in the way only she could pull off..

My heart starts racing immediately. I may have skipped all of middle school but I'm not sheltered enough to not know what people would think if my mother walked me to school. I know about her speaking to the headmaster about my condition beforehand, in order to explain my situation and it worked as I was accepted into school as a girl but she had seemed really upset for the rest of the day. The last thing I want is a repeat of that.

"It's fine," I say as I carry my empty plate to kitchen. I feel disgusted as I realize how I had wolfed everything down without offering my mother anything and I hurriedly place it by the sink. "I can get to school by myself."

"Okay," My mom instantly gives in, yet she still looks worried. I'm walking to the door to the door to slip on my outdoor shoes when I hear her say quietly. "Please promise me you'll try to make friends."

I pause and look at her in surprise. When I was growing up, I was extremely social and had many friends. That changed after I realized that I wasn't actually a boy like I had been assigned and wanted to transition to a girl. In order to help me, my mother had uprooted her entire life in Korea and left her friends and family to take me to Thailand where I could transition cheaply and without much discrimination. I spent my entire three years of middle school there, friendless and isolated but my transition was successful. After the third year had passed, my mother decided that I had missed enough of my schooling in Korea and made the decision to move back but instead of going back to Busan where I grew up, she took a waitressing job and we moved to a small flat in Seoul. She claimed it was because she wanted a 'change of scenery' but I knew it was really because she didn't want me going back to a place where everyone knew my history, like everything else she did, the move to Seoul was entirely for my sake.