short story
I wrote this story about a year ago and I decided that I wanted to share it
Inspired by "A Monster Calls"
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I sat on a park bench, a million thoughts buzzing in my mind as I inspected the sweater that had been sent to me to commemorate the wonderful trip I'd had over the summer. The majority of the trip was spent in a bus filled with sweaty teenagers bobbing their heads to the latest music that had been making its rounds.
The sweater was coloured in a rich royal blue, with cute inside jokes lined all over it. It was velvety smooth to the touch and I had this powerful urge to shuffle it on, in the middle of the park, in 30 degree weather with beads of sweat lining my brow. I didn't, though. Instead, I turned it over to observe the back. I saw all the names of everyone on the trip and it brought a goofy smile to my face. I searched for my name and came back empty.
Just like that, I knew they'd forgotten me. I didn't need to text anyone to know, because this had happened to me countless times before. All the happiness and contentment rushed out of me as quickly as I had felt it.
"No one likes you." A steely voice whispered to me. It only took me a few moments to realize that it was the monster from within who had spoken.
All of a sudden, my breathing shallowed, my back straightened and my muscles tensed.
Oh no oh no oh no oh no.
I glanced around the park to make sure no one was around. No one was. Of course. I was forever alone.
"Th-That's not true." I stammered.
Please go away please go away please go away pl-
The monster didn't say anything and I breathed. Maybe it would go away if I just ignored it. I lifted my eyes to stare straight at the sun. Although it was blinding and my eyes watered, I continued to stare right at it because, while it may hurt, it was nothing compared to the pain that the monster's presence brought me. After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and so I looked down. Unfortunately, I could still feel the monster breathing down my neck. It never went away.
"It's not that they don't like me. It's just that I'm shy and quiet and there's always louder and more outgoing people to remember, you know?" I finally said when my courage built infinitesimally.
"No, I don't know. You're everyone's Plan Z for a reason. You're a pathetic excuse of a girl." The monster whispered just before delivering my destruction, because he craved the breaking of things and people.
And just like that, I remembered everything he wanted me to remember. I remembered all the times I'd be sitting in the cafeteria with my friends and they'd all be talking over and around me as if I didn't exist and I was just an obstacle they had to cross to talk to the next person. I remembered all the times I'd work extremely hard for school only for the teacher to not bat an eyelid and give me a grade that had me feeling like a failure for all the time I had put in. I remembered all the times I would try to change who I was for other people because I didn't want them to think me annoying. I remembered feeling unwanted and unloved and unneeded.
Tears were streaming down my face and sobs racked my body while I tried to fight it. I was crying and I couldn't seem to stop.
Stop stop stop stop.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked the fearsome monster who had adopted the form of the tree in front of me. The tree was tall with long, surreal branches. I sensed my muscles freeze as I watched it come to life. He was done hiding inside of me and he had emerged. He was made out of branches and thorns and had fire for eyes.
"Because you deserve it." He snarled.
I ran and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I bolted as far as I could from that cursed park bench and the monster who would never go away. I saw the city's library in the distance and headed straight there.
Books were my sanctuary. They were my safe haven. They were my escape.
As I stepped inside the library, I looked around and I felt my breath catch like it did every time I walked in. Sky high ceilings, filled with rows upon rows of richly coloured bookshelves. The smell of new books filled my nostrils and I fought a shiver as I felt myself begin to relax. I heard the rustling of pages being turned and I knew I was right at home.
I ran to a secluded corner where I could just cry and escape without anyone noticing. As I was reading, I realized that the words on the pages were rearranging themselves in order to form these strange sentences that almost seemed as if they were directed at me.
I blinked, alarmed.
Was the book trying to tell me something? No, it couldn't be.
I focused my gaze on the pages and I could've sworn I'd seen the words Hi Lea appear before beginning to scramble and rearrange themselves again. I froze and felt my blood pressure rise.
The hero should always defeat the big bad monster, was the next sentence that became legible. I clenched my hands into fists and nodded down at the book.
Good girl, I read, the monster is behind you. Fight him.
I inhaled and exhaled slowly before turning around. My heart thumped in my chest like never before but I couldn't live with a monster forever and I had to defeat him once and for all. He came in the form of the decorative bush that stood in the farthest corner of the library. I watched the branches crack to life and I watched the roots turn to legs. The fire he had for eyes lit up and my legs stayed glued right where I was. He advanced towards me and, all of a sudden, adrenaline rushed through me as I charged at him. I hit him, I punched him and I broke his branches in half as rage burned through me. It was all over before I knew it. Someone dragged me away and turned me to face them.
"You're crazy. Get help." They muttered disgusted, as they pushed me away and kicked me out of the library, my sanctuary.
I left skipping into the sunset because my monster was defeated and would never come back to haunt me again. My grandmother had always taught me the importance of fighting your demons alone and that's precisely what I had done. The orange and pink hues of the sunset told me I'd done the right thing. I was finally free.
