Completely Beyond Repair

chapter 3: school

another week had passed since caden broke up with me and i tried to deal with the heart break by laying in my bed, and crying until my eyes were too dry to let out any more tears. i wasn't only heartbroken about caden, i was also heartbroken about my best friend being taken away from the world.

since all i had been doing for three weeks was crying and feeling sorry for my myself and asking god what i did to deserve this much pain, my mom finally decided that it was time for me to start school again. there was no way to talk my mom out of it, she was gonna force me to go to school no matter what.

so that's why i'm currently sitting in my car, in the school parking lot, watching students walk into the big building where scary teachers hold us in prison for 6 hours for 5 days a week. i keep reaching for the car door handle, about to walk out of the car. my body is ready to walk into school and get out of the car.

but on the contrary, my mind isn't ready. i'm not ready to face my friends, classmates, teachers, and especially caden. everything in my mind was telling me to start the car and leave the school parking lot.

finally, my body won the battle and i was stepping into the parking lot, then into the school. as soon as i stepped through the doors, i wasn't greeted with stares and questions, like i thought.

being happy about being ignored, i went to my locker and began to drop off my books. but, i was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. quickly, i turned around and saw a girl that was in one of my classes, but i wasn't sure what grade she was in.

the girl had straight strawberry blonde hair, a button nose, and freckles that covered most of her face. her smile was wide and bright, and she looked so happy. how could someone be so happy?

"hi! i'm alexandra mooney, i heard about your friend's death. i'm so sorry," she said quickly and pouted when she said the last sentence, but then her perky smile returned, "so i'm part of the newspaper team. how did you feel about magdelaine's death?" she asked and shoved a voice recorder into my face.

not knowing what to do, or how to react, i just shook my head, slammed my locker shut, and pushed past the girl. how could someone be so insensitive? how could she manage to smile while talking about death?

did she seriously not know how it felt to have someone being taken away from you? just like that they're gone, no more conversations with them, no more shared laughs, no more heart-felt crying sessions at 12 am. nothing. they're just gone.

as i stomp down the hallway, i debate once again on leaving the school and going home, or sucking it up and going to class. well, trying to be strong, i suck it up. i can do this. i can do this.

i make my way to my chemistry class and try to ignore the eyes that i feel on me. chemistry was a class that i dreaded going to every day. the teacher was harsh and never explained anything well, nothing made sense, and everyone in the class were loud and disrespectful. but i had always gotten through it and survived because i had maggie.

i am almost positive that i won't make it through the day without my best friend by my side. if i can't make it through the day, i will definitely not make it through life without her.

in the class, almost everyone is sat at their desks and i feel like everyone was just waiting for me to begin class. i quickly shuffle to my desk, sit down, and wait for mrs. mathers to begin her lesson for the day.

but of course she can't begin teaching without calling me out. "im glad that you finally gained the strength to come back to school, ms. miles," she said with her normal condescending tone and a quick eye roll.

with that a few students laughed, a few just looked at me, and the hum of whispers filled the room. from what i know, everyone knows that i found my dead best friend on the floor and of course they're gonna look at me and start rumors and gossip about me.

all i want to do is curl up into a ball and tell everyone to mind their own business but i can't. that wouldn't be right. so all i do is just sit there in my desk and block everything out. occasionally ill jot down notes or pretend like i hear everything that mrs. mathers says.

finally after what felt like years, the bell rings and i go to my next class and try my hardest to get through the day without horribly missing maggie or wishing that I was still with caden so i could rant to him.

after two more classes, its lunch. even compared to chemistry, lunch will probably be the worst part of my day. im not prepared to sit in the cafeteria alone half hoping that someone will be nice enough to sit by me but also half hoping that everyone will leave me alone and forget what they've heard.

but no, of course im not prepared. i sit at the table that i always sat at with mag and caden everyday at lunch, eating my normal lunch of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. everyone's eyes are glued on me because they know that the people that cared about me left. one of them left because life is cruel and the other one left because i drove him away, and everyone in this horrible school knows that.

right as i am about to waltz out of this cafeteria and finish my barely eaten lunch in the bathroom, someone sits down right across me and i can feel their eyes on me.

"what do you..." i am about to say as i look up and see caden looking at me with a concerned look. "oh hi, cade," i say and turn my eyes back to the table and my lunch.

"hi, garance. you looked lonely. can i sit with you?" he says probably with good intentions but all that does is sting.

"of course i'm lonely. my best friend is dead and you left me too," i say with a shake of my head and quickly pack up my lunch into my lunchbox and get ready to just leave. i can't take it. i can't look at him without being reminded of my sorrow and my heartbreak. of course i loved him so much, how did he not know that? how could he just dump me when he knew that i was hurting? or did he dump me? what does 'a break' mean anyways? forget it, i don't care.

"garance, i know it wasn't a good time, it just wasn't fair to either of us if i loved you way more than you loved me," he stated and tried to catch up with me but i wouldn't let him.

with all of the speed that i could muster, i practically ran out of the cafeteria, out of the school, away from caden and his dumb excuses and all of the dumb stares that everyone was giving me.

running to my car, i open and slam the door as i plop into the driver's seat. that's when i completely lose it. i lose everything. my sobs spill out from me and i can't even start driving because my sobs were too much to handle.

i sat in my car for 2 hours until i realized that i actually sat there until school was over and the students started coming out from the building. i get myself together, try to forget about everything, and drive. i drive away from this stupid school and go back to my room, where i will hopefully stay in for a while and not go to school again tomorrow.

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Thanks for reading. Sorry that it's slow and boring. I'm officially updating again. The next part will probably come out next Monday or sooner.

Thanks for support. 'Til next time,
Sky 🌌