Love & Other Possibilities

Chapter 9 - Ross

    I tried to pry my mind off of Winter, tried to push away the urge to turn around and go back to make sure she was alright. She was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and I shouldn't insult her by assuming she needed my help. If she needed help, then she would ask for it. 

    I knew the reason there was a nagging in my gut - Vanessa. A friend I met in college, she was bubbly, bright, and gorgeous. I had the biggest crush on her, but she had friend zoned me hard. She soon settled into a two year relationship which, little did I know, was abusive. The first I found out about it was when I got the call from the hospital. Her drunk of a boyfriend hadn't any idea what he'd done, but she was dead before he sobered up. I always wondered to myself how I'd never noticed, how I'd never seen the bruises, how I'd always believed her when she said her wrist was in the brace because of an old gymnastic injury acting up. 

     But I had to remember - Winter was not Vanessa. She wasn't the same, the situation wasn't the same. Winter was a strong woman, I could tell. She wore the eyes of someone who had seen a lot, and hid it well. There was a reason she'd been on her own since she was 18, why she'd moved so far from home. She took initiative, she left her past in the past. I hated to think ill of the dead, but it was a fact that she was stronger than Vanessa had been. I wasn't sure if she needed me, if she needed anything - but if she did, I felt I owed it to her to be there. I owed it to Vanessa's memory. I owed it to myself. 

    I pulled into the parking lot of the liquor store that was just a few blocks from my place. If I ever needed a drink, I needed one tonight. Putting the car in park and lifting the belt from around me I stepped out of the car and glanced through the windows into the store. The first person I saw surprised me - Erika. She bounced from one foot to the other with a brilliant smile, her blonde curls swaying from one shoulder to the other as she laughed with her group of friends - two girls and a tall guy with a stocking cap slung low over his forehead who seemed to be the object of her attention. I felt a sudden burst of anger at the fact that she was out here having a good ole' time while Winter was dealing with who knows who back across town, but I hushed myself just as she pushed through the front door and caught a glimpse of me. Her bright blue eyes widened and her smile broaded, slipping from the flirtatious grin to a genuine one - I noticed how her lips pulled back to reveal some of her gums when she wasn't trying to be pretty. It looked cuter on her.

     "Hey!" She exclaimed, bouncing through the door, the warm light glinting off her eye. She really was beautiful - not in an elegant way like Molly, or in the understated way that Winter wore her looks, but in a pow sort of way. Her bright eyes hit you like a truck, and her long, leggy body called for attention. She easily could have passed for a model or an actress. 

    "Hi, Erika." I replied quietly, not too certain how much of a conversation to engage with, especially since the beanie guy was eyeing me suspiciously. "How's it going?" I asked her with a polite smile, my hands in my pockets. She grabbed at a piece of hair that strayed into her eyes. 

    "I'm good!" She smiled. "I didn't expect to run into you, do you live around here?" She asked, and i nodded an affirmation.

    "I do." I smiled, my eyes flicking from her to the imposing man behind her. She seemed to notice. 

   "Oh, Ross, this is Jamie, Trix, and Sarah. They just had their first gig tonight, so we thought we'd celebrate." She grinned, grabbing hold of Jamie's hand to reassure him of her attention. I gave them my congratulations. I saw his shoulders relax, and I instantly wanted to gag. If he was feeling jealous over me, the guy had some serious confidence issues. "Ross is Winter's boss, you guy's know Winter." She smiled, and they nodded with smiles. 

     We stood for a few moments silence, and I could tell Winter wanted to ask me something, but was feeling encumbered by her friends' presence. She turned to them quickly. 
"You guys wanna go ahead and go to the car? I wanna talk to Ross for a second." She smiled. I could tell that the boyfriend wasn't entirely pleased with the proposal, but with a kiss on the cheek from her he was dismissed, and he skulked back towards the car. My eyes turned from the group back to Erika, and felt oddly uncomfortable at the fact that her eyes had never left me. Having someone that good looking stare at you had a tendency to make you uneasy.

"Hey-" She started. "I hate to bug you, but... I was wanting to ask you about Winter." She smiled, her brow furrowed, her face tilted into concern. My interest was piqued. "I was wondering... Listen, I know I'm not the best of friend. I tend to be selfish, and talk about myself a lot, but I always try to be there for Winter. Now I know that she obviously came from not that great of a home - We have that in common. But that's all I really know. I was wondering if maybe she'd talked to you about it at all." 

My brows bent at her question. 

    "Uh... No. I mean, we're friendly, but we're not exactly on that close of a basis. I think the last person she would talk to about her past would be me." I said nonchalantly, acting as if I hadn't just been wondering the same thing. She scoffed, turning from me. 

    "I doubt that... But I suppose it's just as well - I figure we all have things we want to leave behind." She said, a touch of humor tilting her voice. I looked at her, a question in my eyes, and she looked at me like I was an idiot. "Oh come on, Ross. You're a smart guy." When I still didn't seem to get it, she seemed almost exasperated. "Jeez, man, I've seen you guys together once, and I know what's up. You can't be that dense." 

I felt my chest tighten at the insinuation, I blinked at her. 

    "I saw the way you looked at her." She said, shaking her head at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Was it? I felt panic begin to well in the back of my throat. "And I saw the way she looked at you." 

    "Erika-"

    "Don't worry, Ross, I won't say anything. She told me you have a girlfriend or something. I'll leave it to you guys to get that all figured out. Just..." She turned to the ground, shuffling her booted feet against the concrete ground before she turned back up to me. "I don't mean to sell her, or anything but... Winter's one of a kind girl." 

    "I know she is." I nodded sincerely, surprised at my acknowledgement. What was I saying? But then, in that moment, in the crisp night, looking in those big blue eyes and with the memory of Vanessa in the back of my mind, I couldn't keep the words from bubbling out. 

    "She's not one to throw herself at someone, so if you... If you want her you're going to have to go after her. Don't let her pass you by. Because once she shuts down, she... She's out of the game. Just a fair warning because I like you." She gave me a wink, reaching out and patting me on the shoulder. My lungs tightened at the scent of her perfume, and I cleared my throat before I could speak as she walked past me. 

    "Erika-" 

She turned back to me, her long hair flipping cinematically. I took a few steps towards her.

"The..." Suddenly I couldn't bring the words to my lips. I turned to he ground beneath the weight of her eyes. "The scars on her back... I saw them the other day. I was wondering if you knew what they were from." 

She looked at me with a mixed expression of concern, surprise and adoration before she shook her head. 

    "I don't know. I've only seen em once, and when I asked her about them she got... really upset at me. She always wears her hair to cover them since then." She took a step back towards the car behind her. "But Ross... She has a new life. If you wanna be part of it, I wouldn't push to look at the old."