Seventeen BoyxBoy One-shots

I know I'm not the one you love

Dedicated to ThisTrashyTrashcan... Sorry it took so long 😭 Anyway! I hope you like it! 😘

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Joshua stared at his bathroom floor. Yellow petals staring back at him. He stared up his ceiling and sighed. This was the third time today. It made him sick to his stomach.

Joshua laughed bitterly. "Why am I so stupid? Why did I fall in love with someone I know I can't have?"

He cleaned up the floor and threw the remnants of the flower petals inside a plastic bag. The flowers were beautiful. If only it wasn't the proof of all his pain, maybe he would be able to show everyone he knows how beautiful his flowers were.

Chucking the plastic bag in the trash can, careful to hide it from plain view, he made his way outside. Where two people were hanging out.

"Hey Josh. What's up? Care to join us?"

"I'm good Vernon. I can see you and Seungcheol don't want to be disturbed."

"Ha-Ha-Ha. Very funny."

Josh chuckled at his younger brother. No matter how many times he denies it, you can see just how important the older is to him.

"I'm going to head out."

"Got it! You going to Jeonghan's?"

"Yeah! Don't wait up!"

He slipped on his worn out shoes and made his way to his best friend's house. The only person that actually understands his hardships and pain. Considering he is also in the same situation.

"Han! It's me Joshua! Can you open up?"

When he opened the door, a pale face welcomes him. What once was the happiest, liveliest and most endearing face turned pale, sickly and tired.

"Hey Josh. Come in"

Joshua removed his shoes and set them by the front door. Jeonghan's apartment was beautiful. Black and white with splashes of blue. Flowers litter every inch. If you don't know their situation, you'd think that Jeonghan is an avid fan of orchids. But it's actually not like that. The orchids symbolizes the pain and suffering he goes through everyday.

"You look paler Han-ah."

"Well, I guess I haven't been taking care of myself."

"Han."

Joshua looked sternly at his friend. Unlike Joshua, Jeonghan actually has enough money to get surgery to remove the source of his pain.

"Why won't you even consider doing the surgery. You do know that the surgery will save your life."

Jeonghan looked at Joshua. A tired smile on his face.

"It's not that easy Joshua. If I get surgery now, and get this horrible feeling out of my chest, does that give me any guarantee that I won't ever be feeling this way again? I'd rather die loving one man than die knowing that I have tried to love multiple men but never having my loved returned. You know how it is."

Joshua looked down. He did. The person he loves is already engaged. To someone so much better than he is. Who is prettier and richer than he is.

"I suppose Han. I guess we'all both die huh."

"Why don't you confess Joshua? You never know."

"Seokmin is engaged. To Vic especially. I can't be compared to her."

It was sad. How everything revolves around money. His love was getting married to someone for money.

"Plus, the wedding is tomorrow. Looks like I'll die pretty soon huh?"