Chapter 7
Harry's Pov:
I grab my keys to take her home. I catch up to and ask if she needs a ride home, I could tell she was thinking about it. I get a small nod and she tells me her address and we walk to the parking lot. The walk is silent and a little awkward, oh well. We get to the car, I turn the key and the car comes to life. The car ride is silent, I want to ask her if she knows Jake, but how? If I ask her straight out then she will become curious. Ugh, why can't things be simple. We arrive at her flat it looks like no one is home. She mumbles a small thank you as she gets out of the car but I grab her wrist and make her face me. She looks taken back but I don't care, I need answers. I remember the conversation about her school and know exactly where to start!
"Tell me the truth El about school." I blurt out. She looks uncertain about telling me.
"I can't tell you, I-I'm sorry Harry." She turns looking away. I sigh.
"You have to tell me." I state gripping her wrist tighter. She winched. I loosened my grip a little.
"I don't w-want to tell you. I can't Harry." She tells me again.
I can see the tears in her eyes and she stuttered for the first time. What happened to the girl I knew. The happy, didn't give a shit about what people told her or thought of her. She gets out of the car before I can say anything. I slowly drive back to the boys wondering what changed her.
Ella's Pov:
When Harry grabbed me I was shocked and he called me El. He hasn't called me that since forever. I quickly get out of the car and run to my room and lock the door, crying with all the bad memories flash in my head. When he called me El, and pulled me back into the car, I don't know what happened. All the painful memories came back all at once, it was too much to take. Jake is my problem, he is the matter, gosh I wanted to scream it to him. But I couldn't tell him what if he got hurt or do something about it? I cried harder. I couldn't take it, everything was my fault. I went to the side of my bed and grabbed a razor I hid just in case. I promised my self I wouldn't do it again, but I can't help it. I put the blade to my wrist. Why was I so fat, ugly, undesirable, pathetic, weak and with each word a new scar. I quietly sobbed while flash backs filled my mind, one of the most painful ones filled my mind completely.
** Flash back **
I walked into my mum's room to see her crying.
"What wrong mum?" I ask with worry.
"Nothing baby, just daddy won't be here anymore, ok?" she said.
"W-what do you mean?" I ask studdering, getting worried.
"H-he doesnt want to be live w-with us anymore, your f-father isn't coming home." She said in between sobs.
I didn't want to believe it, it can't true, I thought to myself. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I ran out of her room as fast as i could.
I wanted to call Harry.
But wait I couldn't, cause he was gone.
I cried even harder as I stumbled into the bathroom, my tears blurring my vision. I opened up the medicine cabinet and rummaged around for the thing I needed most right now. My hand closed around the blade, and as I brought it to my wrist, I couldnt stop the the voices inside my head. My father left us, was it my fault? Did he not like us anymore? I just want my life to be happy.
No that's never going to happen now that everything is falling apart. I wish I could escape all the troubles in life. The tears are just flowing now. I can't bring my self to face reality, why cant things be simple.
"W-where is Harry? He promised me he would always be here when I need him the most." I mumbled.
"He never cared about me. It was all lies, just lies." I bitterly thought.
*
I didn't come out of my room for a week. I knew I needd to go to school, maybe things will be better. I made my self promise I wouldn't do it again, for Harry. I went to school but things only got worse, this Jake kid started bullying me and I cant do anything about it. Why isn't Harry here when I need him the most. I silently cried so no one could tell how much I was hurting inside.
** Flash Back end**
From that day on, I knew I had lost everything that I loved and cared about. That was the day I decided to hide everything; my past, my sadness, and my old self. I learned how to hide my real feelings. When I met Marie, it's like we instantly clicked but she doesn't know anything about my past. She doesn't even know about Jake, and I feel bad sometimes because I would cry and she wouldn't know why. Luckily she didn't ask why, I love her so much, shes like my older sister I always wanted. I sit there sobbing and cutting, so the pain would distract me from reality. I know that no one will be there to put me back together.
I am broken.
I do one last cut before the pain is to much and everything goes black.
*******************************************************************************
Heyyyy!! Where was Harry when he needed her? Just to clear things up she knocks out still bleeding if you are wondering. Its so sad, she's broken :( I'm actually proud of how much I wrote a bit more, to be honest. Sorry if you don't like it and if there's any mistakes. Thank you so much for reading!
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~Jess xx
P.S. If you cut, please remember that I love u, and your not alone. Keep smiling because your smile is per-fect! Oh, I crack myself up :) Anyway, don't cut its not worth it. Your way better than what you think and things will get better.
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