~Fighting The Feeling~

02. Doubts

Doubts!
...

All I could think about was his left hand on my right hip as I looked into those brown eyes. I felt like wanting to melt by his touch. He was giving me a warm look. "We need to talk." He said.

I felt the world pause for a second. We don't need to talk. Talk about what? I was getting confused. I thought he'll never enter in my life again. "Talk about what?"

"About us... and about everything."

I smirked, raising an eyebrow then looked at him confused.
"About us?" There was never an 'US' and there will never be an 'US'. Or am I going to a wrong way when he means us? Is it the us of 'including her'?

"Yes, we need to talk about us, Rose."

"What do you mean? I don't get what your saying."

"Come with me and I'll tell you what I mean."

I looked to the ground then back to his eyes. "No. I am not going with you anywhere. Look, I can't really understand why you jumped on the pool and I had to... save you... but this was just..." I was waving my free hand in the air, fighting with my mind to find the right things to say. "Just... Just..." He smirked at me as he watch me struggle. "Ugh, why am I even talking to you. This was just some stupid life game or whatever people want to call it. Josh let me just live my life and you live yours and let's forget that we bumped into each other and let's not ruin this beautiful day with our stupid little careless past."

"What are you talking about?" He gave me a confused look.

What am I talking about? So she didn't told him about my true feelings for him! "Shit." I thought and whispered loudly. So I don't have nothing to claim him for.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes. Well... Bad to see you Josh. Bye." I gave him a close mouth smile then went for a run.

To my bad luck, he ran after me and caught me before I could cross the street to the other side. "What are you doing?" I asked confused as I tried to turn my body to him with his grip on my waist. Then I suddenly remembered that my black bathing suit and shorts were drying. I was a bit cold.

He led go of me. "No. What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Rose, did I do anything wrong? Tell me."

I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. "You don't know anything do you?" I said giving him a firm look. That look that you give people to try to make them understand what you mean.

"Knew what?"

"I thought you knew." I put my hands in my back pockets and looked at the ground.

That I never liked you... I still LOVE you. And I couldn't get you out of mind even though we haven't seen each other in years... I thought. But I could never tell him. He never knew that I love him and that I have this crazy thing for him. And I don't have and probably never will have the gut to tell him that.

"Knew what Rose? Aren't you going to tell me?"

Never!

"No. There's really nothing to tell you Josh. Now... I have to go." I said calming myself to really appear that there's nothing to say.

He stood narrowing his eyes, looking extremely confused at me. I think he was angry or dubious. "I don't really know what's up with you Rose, but I'm gonna find out what you don't want to tell me one way or another."

"Okay?" I said like if I didn't care.

We stood for a minute just starring at each other. "I miss the old you." He spoke breaking the silence between our stares.

The old me... That shy girl that used to loose her self-confidence all the time, that tried to keep up with life and survive middle school.

And also that girl that always tried to make the love of her life, laugh.

I remember when we texted, I used to google up the most funny jokes and search my mind to come up with hilarious things that would make him send me lots of 'LOL' emojis. I won't lie to you, those were my moments. Not just because I was texting my crush... (Yes, because I was texting my crush!), but because I could escape the hard, real life and jump into the funny hilarious one..

With him.

It was a bit weird because when we texted too much for long time, it were little the times when we talked in school.

"The old me? I don't remember getting old then coming back to being young. Why would you even miss the old me? She must've had wrinkles in her face, an old lady body, and... gray hair. Your crazy Josh." I said putting on my most serious face.

I was proud of myself. Really. The old me wouldn't be able to say that paragraph without cracking up at the second sentence. I couldn't say a joke without cracking up before even finishing the joke.

He smirked, almost like a laugh. "I knew you still had some things left of the old you."

"Yeah, whatever. I have to go. Bye now and don't follow me." I gritted the last part pointing a finger at him.

"Okay." He smirked, putting out his hands up in surrender.

I started walking to the cement and waved a hand to the black car that was parked on the other side of the street. I watched as the car drove, making a U-turn, then approaching me.

I looked at him. The car stopped in front of me. I opened the door then entered a leg in and placed an arm on the roof of the car. "Seriously, I hope we never meet again Josh. And go ask her. Ask Wendy the whole story. Tell her to tell you every single detail. And when she does Josh, don't ever look for me. And pretend that you don't know me if we ever see each other by accident. I'll do the same." I scowled at him then got in the car.

I watched him from the window. He was left with a guilty and sad face. He had so much confuseness on his face. I felt bad for a moment but to be honest, I strongly, really don't want this man in my life.

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Guah-hahahahah! What a chapter! Mind commenting what you think?

So yeah, this started as a scene in my head until I decided to keep on writing it. Hope your enjoying and let me know by voting and commenting if your enjoying!