thanksgiving will be the death of me

That Night

A sharp intake of breathe occurred as Kris stood up. Unusual silence from the other 11 people covered the room in thickness. His tall body casted a shadow on the table.

"Thanks Suho, we'll be going now"

His voice was deep and echoed through the silent room. Luhan and Tao stood up and pushed the chairs in. Sehun's hand held the wine glass hard. His knuckles were pale and his fingers hurt.

"You'll be back for Christmas right dad." Sehun's voice was barely a whisper.

"I don't know son. I'm busy" Kris' eyes fell down to the half-eaten plate of cake on the table. Everyone else in the room's eyes darted around hardly daring to look at each other

Kris walked towards the door, Luhan and Tao in tow. As they exited, Suho sighed and placed his head on the table. Every nerve in his body relaxed. Xiumin patted his head and started to pack the table away. The turkey was wrapped and placed in the fridge where it would serve as tomorrow mornings breakfast. Everyone except Sehun stood up and started assisting Xiumin in cleaning up the mess made that night. Sehun slunk into his seat.

If only I was good.

If only I never complained.

If only I never yelled at dad.

If only I was never here, they would never of separated. Luhan and Tao would never be gone. Mom would be happy.

The night was silent. Not a single cricket was chirping. Sehun slipped out of his bedroom. He rested his hand lightly on the corridor wall and fumbled his way to the bathroom. His hand flicked the switch. Light filled the room. Sehun closed the door out of habit.

Eyes adjusted to the lighting. From black to sudden light. Fingers touched his cheek. Warm liquid covered his fingers. Tears.

Sehun stumbled to the mirror. A face so like his own yet not his stared back at him. He opened the cabinet and his pale slender fingers grabbed the bottle. It had been carefully prepared. Not suspicious. For all the other 8 people who lived in the house knew it was prescription medicine. Seven tablets poured into his palm. He had done his research. Six tablets were enough but he had added an extra one for good measure. He quickly placed all the tablets in his mouth and swallowed. Black.

The next day

Xiumin had just woken up and needed a cold shower to awaken him and help his rid of his hangover. The door of the bathroom was closed which was weird. It was usually open when no one was in there and no one should be this early in the morning. The sun wasn't even up. Xiumin opened the door. At first he didn't even realise there was a body on the floor. Xiumin bent down and tapped the body on the shoulder. Nothing. The body felt cold and stiff. Sehun's body was usually warm even if he wore close to nothing. Xiumin breath quickened and he felt alert, his hangover was gone. Xiumin quickly placed two fingers on Sehun's hand. No pulse. He placed his hand over Sehun's mouth. No breath. He ran out of the bathroom, straight to Suho shared bedroom with Sehun. He shook Suho violently.

"He's gone"

"Who is?"

"Sehun. He's not breathing and his heart isn't beating."

Suho shot up.

"Where is he?"

"The bathroom."

Suho ran. Xiumin followed after, knocking on the doors of sleeping members. On the bathroom floor lay Sehun. Xiumin dialled emergency. Suho bent down to check again.

"No no no. I can't lose another one. Not my Sehun. Not after Kris, Tao and Luhan."

2 hours later

"This was found in his room."

A letter addressed to a Suho and one addressed to Kris. Suho tore the envelope open.

Mom

I'm so sorry. I can't live with the guilt. It's been eating me alive. I can't do this. I'm sorry. Tell Baekhyun, Lay, Chanyeol, Kai, Xiumin, Chen, DO I am sorry. I love you. Thanks for always being there.

Love your baby.