Letters to Love, Time and Death

Letter to Death

Dear Death,

You have taken three men that meant the world to me. All three of them in the same year. All three instances happened after a few hours from leaving their sides.

I was Papang's only grand daughter and he was my champion. From the summers I spent with him to the years we've moved back home, I knew I can go to him whenever I need someone to talk to. It doesn't matter if it was the stories of his youth or the useless worries of my childhood. Regardless of the topic, I would be happy enough to sit beside him and talk. I had just arrived home from visiting him in the hospital when I was told you've taken him. I've been sad but I'm happy because he's no longer hurting.

He was my greatest love. He could've been my husband. But a few hours after our 14th monthsary dinner, I was woken by the news that you've taken him in one of the most painful way possible—without proper goodbyes. I was devastated but I knew he would want me to move on.

Papa was lively even while lying in hospital bed. He even joked about getting Mama pregnant as soon as he was out of the hospital. I never expected that Friday would be the last time I could see his smile. You took him from me even before he could walk me down the aisle. I was crushed but I cannot cry. Mama needed my strength.

Through it all, I never hated nor feared you. You just did what you had to do. Every person has their time to pass on from this life.

I apologize if there had been times that I almost forced your hand to take me away. I had been a coward and thought you're my way out. Each time, you made me realize I have much more to be thankful for.

What you've taught me was understanding that everything here is transient. I cannot hold on to people I don't want to lose but I can gather memories so they would never be forgotten. I learned that I don't know when you'll arrive but I can prepare myself and family to that inevitability.

That way, when the time has come—when it's really my turn to be fetched—I can go with you without regrets.

Until then, I'll prepare.