There once was a salmon that lived in the sea of memes, he was incredibly antisocial and hated other salmon which caused him to binge eat on hot pockets every free second he had, he became known as "The Matthew Shaver Salmon" because I said so.
The Matthew Shaver Salmon was much different from other salmon despite being antisocial and craving hot pockets, he could magically grow wings and breathe air whenever the fuck he wanted to, he had once eaten a radioactive hot pocket that gave him the power of flight and the ability to breathe both air and water.
One day The Matthew Shaver Salmon was enjoying himself by being antisocial until it was interrupted by a loud screeching noise coming from above the water. Curious, The Matthew Shaver Salmon magically grew wings and flew above the surface only to see a horny black man harassing a dumb emo bitch.
Impelled, The Matthew Shaver Salmon flew closer to the strange sight only to be watched by a mysterious privileged black man sitting alone against a tree crying.
Taking notice of the flying salmon, the horny black man took his gaze off of the dumb emo bitch giving her a chance to escape.
Running away from the horny black man, the dumb emo bitch tripped on a rock and died.
Just as the dumb emo bitch fell and died, the privileged black man moved his gaze to the dumb emo bitch and continued crying even louder than before.
Completely weirded out, The Matthew Shaver Salmon mumbled "I do not have time to watch these fucks, I have hot pockets to eat!" and dove straight back into the sea of memes as the horny black man watched.
Fascinated, the horny black man jumped into the river to go after The Matthew Shaver Salmon....
He drowned 3 minutes later.
Sitting alone next to the dumb emo bitch, the privileged black man continued crying until he eventually died next to her from sadness.
Bolting up, the dumb emo bitch came back to life and noticed the privileged black man dead next to her, moving away from the body, the dumb emo bitch died once again because I said so.
Swimming alone, The Matthew Shaver Salmon was bored, he secretly wanted to see more weird shit, the suddenly a hot pocket plunged into the water a few feet away from his face, shocked, The Matthew Shaver Salmon swam towards it only to be grabbed out of the water by a mysterious hand...
