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Elle,

Through everything, I didn't even break down. Not through the hospital, not through the wake arrangements, and not even through your funeral. You know when I did? When I was throwing out the trash and I found something. It was that little sticker that you gave me in eight grade with the little eiffel tower. You said it was a sign, that we were definitely getting out of this town after high school. I rolled my eyes but I kept it. And it fell off my bulletin board and I saw it. And then I was crying. Really crying. Sobbing. We were never going to go on that stupid trip after high school. You would never get out of this town. I just sat on the floor and cried and cried. But I didn't even feel better. I didn't feel "healed" or whatever. God I miss you. How could you leave me? How could you not take me with you?

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