The Untold Story of the Original "Tragedy In Thneedville"

Chapter 4| Deep in Distress

All right, everyone! This is a stickup! Don't anybody move! Now empty that safe. - Money, money, money! - Stop it! Stop it, you mean old potato. Quiet, Bo Peep, or your sheep get run over! Help! Baa! Help us! Oh, no, not my sheep! Somebody, do something! Reach for the sky. Oh, no! Sheriff Woody! I'm here to stop you, One-Eyed Bart. - How'd you know it was me? - Are you gonna come quietly? You can't touch me, Sheriff. I brought my attack dog with the built-in force field. Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force-field dogs. You're going to jail, Bart. Say good-bye to the wife and tater tots. You saved the day again, Woody. You're my favorite deputy. You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me Come on, let's wrangle up the cattle. When the road looks rough ahead And you're miles and miles from your nice, warm bed - Round 'em up, cowboy. - Just remember what your old pal said - Boy, you've got a friend in me - Yee-haw! - Yeah, you've got a friend in me - Hey, cowboy! Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am Big and stronger too - Come on, Woody. - Maybe But none of them will ever love you the way I do It's me and you, boy And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You're gonna see it's our destiny - You've got a friend in me - All right! - Yeah, you've got a friend in me - Score! - You've got a friend in me - Wow! Cool! - What do you think? - Oh, this looks great, Mom! - Okay, birthday boy. - We saw that at the store! I asked you for it! - I hope I have enough places. - Wow, look at that! That's so-- Oh, my gosh, you got-- One, two-- four. Yeah, I think that's going to be enough. - Can we leave this up 'til we move? - Well, sure. - We can leave it up. - Yeah! - Now go get Molly. - Your friends are going to be here any minute. - Okay! It's party time, Woody. Yee-haw! Howdy, little lady. Somebody's poisoned the water hole. Come on, Molly. Oh, you're getting heavy. See you later, Woody! Pull my string! The birthday party's today? Okay, everybody, coast is clear! Ages three and up. It's on my box. "Ages three and up." I'm not supposed to be baby-sitting Princess Drool. Hey, Hamm, look. I'm Picasso! - I don't get it. - You uncultured swine. What are you looking at, ya hockey puck? - Uh, hey, Sarge, have you seen Slinky? - Sir! No, sir! Okay. Hey, thank you. At ease. - Hey, uh, Slinky? - Right here, Woody. I-I'm red this time. - No, S-Slink-- - Oh, well, all right. You can be red if you want. N-Not now, Slink. I got some bad news. - Bad news? - Shh, shh, shh! - Just gather everyone up for a staff meeting, and be happy. - Got it. Be happy! Staff meeting, everybody! Snake, Robot, podium, please. Hey, Etch. Draw! Oh! Got me again. Etch, you've been working on that draw. Fastest knobs in the West. Uh, got a staff meeting, you guys. Come on, let's go. Now, where is that-- Oh. Hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here? - Uh, how're you doin', Rex? - Were you scared? Tell me honestly. I was close to being scared that time. Oh, I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it! I think I'm just coming off as annoying. Ow! Oh, hi, Bo. Hi. I wanted to thank you, Woody, for saving my flock. Oh, hey, it was, uh, nothin'. What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight? Oh, yeah. I-- Remember, I'm just a couple of blocks away. Come on, come on. Smaller toys up front. Hey, Woody, come on. Oh, thanks, Mike. Okay-- Oh, whoa. Step back. - For crying out loud. - Okay. Thank you. Hello. Check. That better? Great. Everybody hear me? Up on the shelf, can you hear me? Great. Okay, first item today: uh, oh, yeah-- has everyone picked a moving buddy? - What? - Moving buddy? You can't be serious. Well, I didn't know we were supposed to have one already. - Do we have to hold hands? - Oh, yeah. You guys think this is a big joke. We've only got one week left before the move. I don't want any toys left behind. A moving buddy. If you don't have one, get one! All right, next. Uh, oh, yes. Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting... was, I think, a big success, and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. - Thank you, Mr. Spell. - You're welcome. Okay. Uh, oh, yes. One, uh, minor note here. Andy's birthday party has been moved to today. - Uh, next we have-- - Wait a minute. - What do you mean the party's today? - His birthday's not 'til next week! - What's goin' on down there? -Is his mom losin' her marbles? -Well, obviously, she wanted to have the party before the move. - I'm not worried. You shouldn't be worried. - Of course Woody ain't worried. -He's been Andy's favorite since kindergarten. -Hey, hey. Come on, Potato Head. If Woody says it's all right, then, well, darn it, it's good enough for me. Woody has never steered us wrong before. Come on, guys. Every Christmas and birthday we go through this. But what if Andy gets another dinosaur, a mean one? I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection! Hey, listen. No one's getting replaced. This is Andy we're talking about. It doesn't matter how much we're played with. What matters is that we're here for Andy when he needs us. That's what we're made for, right? Pardon me. I hate to break up the staff meeting, but they're here! - Birthday guests at three o'clock! - Stay calm, everyone! Hey! - Uh, meeting adjourned. - Ho, boy, will you take a look at all those presents? I can't see a thing. Yes, sir. We're next month's garage sale fodder for sure. - Any dinosaur-shaped ones? - Oh, for crying out loud. - They're all in boxes, you idiot. - They're getting bigger! - Wait, there's a nice little one over there. - Hi! - Spell: trash can. - We're doomed! All right. All right! If I send out the troops, will you all calm down? - Yes! Yes! We promise! - Okay! Save your batteries. Eh, very good, Woody. That's using the old noodle. Sergeant, establish a recon post downstairs. Code Red! - You know what to do. - Yes, sir! All right, men. You heard him. Code Red! Repeat: we are at Code Red. Recon plan Charlie. Execute! Let's move, move, move, move, move! Okay. Come on, kids. Everyone in the living room. It's almost time for the presents. All right, gangway, gangway. And this is how we find out... what is in those presents. Okay! Who's hungry? Here come the chips! I've got Cool Ranch and barbecue! Ow! What in the world? Oh! I thought I told him to pick these up. Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long? Hey, these guys are professionals. They're the best. Come on. They're not lying down on the job. - G-Go on without me. Just go. - A good soldier never leaves a man behind. Okay, everybody. Come on. Settle down. Now, kids. Everybody-- You sit in a circle. No, Andy. Andy, you sit in the middle there. Good. And which present are you gonna open first? There they are. - Come in, Mother Bird. This is Alpha Bravo. - This is it! This is it! - Come in, Mother Bird. - Quiet, quiet, quiet! - All right, Andy's opening the first present now. Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! Mrs. Potato Head! - Hey, I can dream, can't I? - The bow's coming off. He's ripping the wrapping paper. It's a-- It's-- It's a-- A lunch box. We've got a lunch box here. - A lunch box? - A lunch box? - For lunch. Okay, second present. It appears to be-- - Okay, it's bed sheets. - Who invited that kid? Oh! Only one left. - Okay, we're on the last present now. - Last present! It's a big one. It's a-- It's a board game! Repeat: Battleship. - Yay! - Hallelujah! - Yeah, all right. - Hey! Watch it! - Sorry there, old spud head. Mission accomplished. Well done, men. Pack it up. We're goin' home. So did I tell you? Huh? Nothin' to worry about. I knew you were right all along, Woody. Never doubted you for a second. Wait a minute. Oh, what do we have here? Ohh! Wait! Turn that thing back on! Come in, Mother Bird. Come in, Mother Bird. Mom has pulled a surprise present from the closet. Andy's opening it. He's really excited about this one. - Mom! What is it? - It's a huge package. Oh, get outta the-- One of the kids is in the way. I can't see. It's a-- It's a what? What is it? - Oh, no! - Oh, ya big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is! - Way to go, Rex! - No, no! Turn 'em around! Turn 'em around! Oh, he's puttin' 'em in backwards. You're-- You're puttin' 'em in backwards! Plus is positive, minus is negative! Oh, let me! Let's go to my room, guys! Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs! - There! - Juvenile intrusion. Repeat, resume your positions now! Andy's coming, everybody! Back to your places! Hurry! Get to your places! Get to your places! Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear? Out of my way! Here I come! Here I come! Ohh! Hey, look! Its lasers light up. - Take that, Zurg! - Quick, make a space. This is where the spaceship lands. And he does it back, and he does a karate-chop action. Come on down, guys! It's time for games! - We got prizes! - Oh, yeah! - What is it? - Can you see it? - What the heck is up there? Woody, who's up there with ya? Woody, what are you doing under the bed? Uh, nothin'. Uh, nothin'. I'm sure Andy was just a little excited, that's all. Too much cake and ice cream, I suppose. It's just a mistake! Well, that mistake is sitting in your spot, Woody. - Oh! Have you been replaced? - Hey, what did I tell you earlier? No one is getting replaced. Now, let's all be polite and give whatever it is up there... a nice, big Andy's-room welcome. Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. Come in, Star Command. Star Command, come in. Do you read me? Why don't they answer? My ship! Blast! This'll take weeks to repair. Buzz Lightyear mission log, stardate 4-0-7-2. My ship has run off course en route to sector 12. I've crash-landed on a strange planet. The impact must've awoken me from hypersleep. Terrain seems a bit unstable. No readout yet if the air is breathable. - And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere. - Hello! Whoa! He-Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name is Woody... and this is Andy's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see-- the bed here. Local law enforcement. It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake. Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot. I need to repair my turbo boosters. Do you people still use fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion? Well, let's see. We got double-A's. - Watch yourself! Halt! Who goes there? - Don't shoot! - It's okay. Friends. - Do you know these life-forms? Yes. They're Andy's toys. All right, everyone. You're clear to come out. I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. Oh, I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur! All right, thank you. Now, thank you all for your kind welcome. - Say, what's that button do? - I'll show you. - Buzz Lightyear to the rescue. - Whoa! - Man! Hey, Woody's got something like that. His is a pull string, only it's-- - Only it sounds like a car ran over it. - Oh, yeah, but not like this one. This is a quality sound system. Probably all copper wiring, huh? So, uh, where you from? Singapore? Hong Kong? Well, no. Actually, I-I'm-- I'm stationed up in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector Four. As a member of the elite Universe Protection Unit of the Space Ranger Corps, I protect the galaxy from the threat of invasion... from the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance. Oh, really? I'm from Playskool. And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not really from Mattel. I'm actually from a smaller company that was purchased in a leveraged buyout. You'd think they'd never seen a new toy before. Well, sure, look at him. He's got more gadgets on him than a Swiss Army knife. Ah, ah, ah, ah! Please be careful. You don't want to be in the way when my laser goes off. Hey, a laser! How come you don't have a laser, Woody? It's not a laser. It's a-- It's a little light bulb that blinks. - What's with him? - Laser envy. - All right, that's enough! Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy. - Toy? - T-O-Y. Toy! Excuse me. I-I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger." The word I'm searching for I can't say because there's preschool toys present. Gettin' kind of tense, aren't ya? Oh, uh, Mr. Lightyear, uh, now, I'm curious. What does a Space Ranger actually do? He's not a Space Ranger! He doesn't fight evil or-- or shoot lasers or fly! Excuse me. - Wow! - Oh, impressive wingspan. Very good! Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly. They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and Ican fly. - No, you can't. - Yes, I can. - You can't. - Can. - Can't. Can't. Can't! I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed! Okay, then, Mr. Light Beer, prove it. All right, then, I will. Stand back, everyone. To infinity and beyond! - Can! - Whoa! Oh, wow! You flew magnificently! - I found my movin' buddy. - Thank you. Th-Thank you all. Thank you. That wasn't flying. That was falling with style. Man, the dolls must really go for you. Can you teach me that? - Golly bob howdy! - Oh, shut up! No, in a couple of days, everything will be just the way it was. They'll see. They'll see. I'm still Andy's favorite toy. I was on top of the world livin' high - It was right in my pocket - Whoa! I was livin' the life Things were just the way they should be When from out of the sky like a bomb Comes some little punk in a rocket Now all of a sudden some strange things are happening to me Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Strange things Are happening to me Strange things Strange things Are happening to me Ain't no doubt about it I had friends I had lots of friends Now all my friends are gone And I'm doin' the best I can To carry on - I had power - Power - I was respected - Respected But not anymore And I've lost the love of the one Whom I adore Let me tell you 'bout it Strange things Are happening to me Strange things Strange things Are happening to me Ain't no doubt about it Strange things Strange things Oh! Finally. - Hey, who's got my hat? - Look, I'm Woody. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Ah-ha. Ah-ha! Give me that! Say there, Lizard and Stretchy Dog, let me show you something. It looks as though I've been accepted into your culture. Your chief Andy inscribed his name on me. Wow! With permanent ink too! Well, I must get back to repairing my ship. - Don't let it get to you, Woody. - Uh, let what? I don't, uh-- What do you mean? Who? I know Andy's excited about Buzz, but you know he'll always have a special place for you. - Yeah, like the attic. - All right! That's it! - Unidirectional bonding strip. - Mr. Lightyear wants more tape. Listen, Light Snack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? And another thing: stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves! Are you saying you want to lodge a complaint with Star Command? Oh-ho-ho! Okay! Ooh, well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh? - Don't even think about it, cowboy. - Oh, yeah, tough guy? The air isn't toxic. How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets. You actually think you'rethe Buzz Lightyear? Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Hey, guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear! -You're mocking me, aren't you? -Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. - Buzz, look! An alien! - Where? Yes! Whoa! - Uh-oh. - It's Sid! - Don't move! - I thought he was at summer camp. - They, uh, must have kicked him out early this year. - Oh, no, not Sid! Incoming! - Who is it this time? - Uh, I can't-- I can't tell. - Hey, where's Lenny? - Right here, Woody. Oh, no, I can't bear to watch one of these again. - Stay where you are! - Oh, no, it's a Combat Carl. - What's going on? - Nothing that concerns you spacemen; just us toys. I'd better take a look anyway. Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device? That's why-- Sid. - Hmm, sure is a hairy fellow. - No, no, that's Scud, you idiot. That is Sid. - You mean that happy child? - That ain't no happy child. He tortures toys, just for fun! Well, then, we've got to do something. - What are you doing? Get down from there! - I'm gonna teach that boy a lesson. Yeah, sure. You go ahead. Melt him with your scary laser. Be careful with that. It's extremely dangerous. He's lighting it! He's lighting it! Hit the dirt! Look out! Yes! He's gone! He's history! I could've stopped him. Buzz, I would love to see you try. - Of course, I'd love to see you as a crater. - Yeah! - The sooner we move, the better. - Oh, what a great shot. Yeah! To infinity and beyond! Oh, all this packing makes me hungry. What would you say to dinner at, uh, oh, Pizza Planet? Pizza Planet? Oh, cool! Go wash your hands, and I'll get Molly ready. - Can I bring some toys? - You can bring one toy. - Just one? - One toy? Will Andy pick me? "Don't count on it"? Ohh! Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble! - Trouble? Where? - Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy! It's-- It's trapped, Buzz! Then we've no time to lose. - I don't see anything. - Uh, he's there. Just-- Just keep looking. What kind of toy-- - Buzz! - Buzz! - Buzz! - I don't see him in the driveway. - Did you see what happened? - I think he bounced into Sid's yard! - Ohh! Buzz! Hey, everyone! R.C.'s trying to say something. What is it, boy? - He's saying that this was no accident. - Huh? - What do you mean? - I mean Humpty-Dumpty was pushed. - No! - By Woody! - What? - What? Wait a minute. You-- You don't think I meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head? That's Mr. Potato Head to you, you back-stabbin' murderer! Now, it was an accident, guys. Come on. Now, you-- you gotta believe me. We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex? Well, ye-- n-- I don't like confrontations. Where is your honor, dirt bag? You are an absolute disgrace! You don't deserve to-- Hey! You couldn't handle Buzz cuttin' in on your playtime, could you, Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz just might be Andy's new favorite toy. So you got rid of him. Well, what if Andy starts playing with me more, Woody, huh? You're gonna knock me out of the window too? - I don't think we should give him the chance. - There he is, men. - Frag him! - Let's string him up by his pull string! - I've got dibs on his hat! - Would you boys stop it? - Tackle him! - No, no, no! W-W-Wait! - Boys, stop it! - I can explain everything. - Okay, Mom, be right down. - I've gotta get Buzz. - Retreat! -Mom, do you know where Buzz is? -No, I haven't seen him. -Psst! Andy, I'm heading out the door! - But, Mom, I can't find him! - Honey, just grab some other toy. Now, come on. Okay. I couldn't find my Buzz. I know I left him right there. Honey, I'm sure he's around. You'll find him. It's too short! We need more monkeys! There aren't any more! That's the whole barrel! Buzz, the monkeys aren't working. We're formulating another plan! Stay calm! Oh, where could he be? - Can I help pump the gas? - Sure! I'll even let you drive. - Yeah? - Yeah, when you're 16. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Funny, Mom. Oh, great. How am I gonna convince those guys it was an accident? Buzz! Buzz! Hah! You're alive! This is great! Oh, I'm saved! I'm saved! Andy will find you here. He'll take us back to the room, and then you can tell everyone... that this was all just a big mistake. Huh? Right? Buddy? I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. - Oh. Oh, that's good. - But we're not on my planet. - Are we? - No. Okay. Come on! You want a piece of me? - Ow! - Buzz-- Buzz-- Buzz Lightyear to the rescue. - Ah-ow! - Next stop-- - Pizza Planet. Yeah! Andy! Wh-- Doesn't he realize that I'm not there? I'm lost! Oh, I'm a lost toy! Buzz Lightyear mission log. The local sheriff and I seem to be at a huge refueling station of some sort. You! - According to my navi-computer, the-- - Shut up! - Just shut up, you idiot! - Sheriff, this is no time to panic. This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost! Andy is gone! They're gonna move from their house in two days, and it's all your fault! My-- My fault? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place-- Oh, yeah? Well, if you hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship... and taken away everything that was important to me-- Don't talk to me about importance. Because of you, the security of this entire universe is in jeopardy! What? What are you talking about? Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building... a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command! You are a toy! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're a-- Uh, you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything! You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell. Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony. "Rendezvous with Star Command." - Hey, gas dude! - You talking to me? - Yeah, man. - Pizza Planet? - Can you help me? - Do you know where Cutting Boulevard is? - Andy! - Just a moment. - Oh, no! I can't show my face in that room without Buzz. - Buzz! Buzz, come back! - Go away. No, Buzz, you gotta come back! I-- I found a spaceship! It's a spaceship, Buzz. Come on, man, hurry up! Um, like, the pizzas are getting cold here. - Oh, yeah, Cutting Boulevard. - Yeah, yeah. Which way? Now, you're sure this space freighter will return... to its port of origin once it jettisons its food supply? Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll be able to find a way to transport you home. -Well, then, let's climb aboard. -No, no, no, wait! Buzz! Buzz! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there. Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. - We'll be much safer in the cockpit. - Yeah, but-- - Buzz! Buzz! - That's two lefts and a right, huh? - Yeah. - Uh, thanks for the directions, okay? - Yeah, remember, kid-- - Buzz! "It's safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay." What an idiot. Next shuttle liftoff scheduled for T-minus 30 minutes and counting. You are cleared to enter. Welcome to Pizza Planet. - The white zone is for eating pizza-- - Sheriff! Sheriff? There you are. Now, the entrance is heavily guarded. We need a way to get inside. Great idea, Woody. I like your thinkin'. You are cleared to enter. - Welcome to Pizza Planet. - Now! Quickly, Sheriff! The air lock is closing. Jones, party of five, your shuttle is now boarding-- Mom, can we have some tokens? - Ow! Watch where you're going! - Sorry! Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. What a spaceport! Good work, Woody. - Mom, can I play Black Hole? Please, please, please! - Andy! - Oh, it's so cool! - Now, we need to find a ship that's headed for Sector 12. Wait a minute. No, no, no, Buzz. This way! There's a special ship. I just saw it. You mean it has hyperdrive? Hyperactive hyperdrive and Astro, uh, turf! - Where is it? I-I don't see the-- - Come on. That's it. Spaceship! All right, Buzz, get ready. And-- -Until the universe explodes! -Okay, Buzz, when I say go, we're gonna jump in the basket. Buzz! - Hey, Mom, if I eat all of my pizza, - No! - can I have some alien slime? This cannot be happening to me! - A stranger. - From the outside. - Ooh! Greetings. I am Buzz Lightyear. -I come in peace. -Tell me what it's like outside. Before your space journey, re-energize yourself with a slice of pepperoni, now boarding at counter three. This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12. Who's in charge here? The claw! - The claw is our master. - The claw chooses who will go and who will stay. - This is ludicrous. - Hey, bozo, you got a brain in there? Take that! Oh, no! Sid! Get down! - What's gotten into you, Sheriff? I wa-- - You are the one... - that decided to climb into this-- - Shh! The claw. It moves. I have been chosen! Farewell, my friends. I go on to a better place. Gotcha! A Buzz Lightyear? No way! - Yes! - Buzz! No! Hey! - He has been chosen. - He must go. - Hey! - You might anger the claw. - What are you doing? Stop it! - The claw! The claw! - Stop it, you zealots! - Do not fight the claw. All right! Double prizes! Let's go home and play. Sheriff, I can see your dwelling from here. You're almost home. Nirvana is coming. The mystic portal awaits. Will you be quiet? You guys don't get it, do you? Once we go into Sid's house, we won't be coming out! Whoa, Scud! Hey, boy! Sit! Good boy. - Hey, I got something for you, boy. - Freeze! Ready, set, now! Hannah! Hey, Hannah! - What? - Did I get my package in the mail? - I don't know. - What do you mean, you don't know? I don't know. - Oh, no, Hannah! - What? - Look-- Janie! - Hey! - She's sick! - No, she's not! - I'll have to perform one of my operations. - No! - Not Sid's room. Not there. - No! Sid, give her back! Sid! - Oh, no! - Mom! - We have a sick patient here, Nurse. Prepare the O.R., stat! Patient is prepped. No one's ever attempted a double bypass... brain transplant before. Now for the tricky part. Pliers! I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school. Doctor, you've done it! Hannah! Janie's all better now. - Mom! Mom! - She's lying! Whatever she says, it's not true! We are gonna die. I'm outta here! Locked! There's gotta be another way outta here. Uh, Buzz, was that you? Hey, hi there, little fella. Come out here. Do you know a way outta here? Bu-Bu-Bu-Buzz! They're cannibals. Mayday, mayday. Come in, Star Command. Send reinforcements. Star Command, do you copy? I've set my laser from stun to kill. Ah, great, great. Yeah, and if anyone attacks us, we can blink 'em to death. Hey, you guys, I think I found him. Buzz, is that you? Whiskers, will you get out of here! You're interfering with a search and rescue! Look! They're home. - Mom, have you seen Woody? - Where was the last place you left him? - Right here in the van. - I'm sure he's there. You're just not looking hard enough. He's not here, Mom. Woody's gone! - Woody's gone? - Yeah, boy, the weasel ran away. Huh? Huh? I told you he was guilty. Who would've thought he was capable of such atrocities? Oh, Slink, I hope he's okay. Oh, a survivor! Where's the rebel base? Talk! I can see your will is strong. Well, we have ways of making you talk. Where are your rebel friends now? - Sid, your Pop Tarts are ready! - All right! Are you all right? I'm proud of you, Sheriff. A lesser man would've talked under such torture. I sure hope this isn't permanent. Still no word from Star Command. We're not that far from the spaceport. The door. It's open! We're free! - Woody, we don't know what's out there! - I'll tell you wha-- They're gonna eat us, Buzz! Do something, quick! Shield your eyes! It's not working. I recharged it before I left. I-It should be good for-- You idiot, you're a toy! Use your karate-chop action! - Get away! - Hey! Hey! How're you doin' that? Stop that! - Back! Back, you savages! Back! - Woody, stop it. Sorry, guys, but dinner's cancelled. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home! Another stunt like that, cowboy, and you're gonna get us killed. - Don't tell me what to do. - Shh! Yee-haw! Giddyap, partner! We got to get this wagon train a-movin'! Split up! Calling Buzz Lightyear. Come in, Buzz Lightyear. This is Star Command. - Buzz Lightyear, - Star Command! - do you read me? Buzz Lightyear responding. Read you loud and clear. Buzz Lightyear, planet Earth needs your help! - On the way! - Buzz Lightyear! The world's greatest superhero, now the world's greatest toy! Buzz has it all! Locking wrist communicator! - Calling Buzz Lightyear! - Karate-chop action! - Wow! - Pulsating laser light! - Total annihilation! - Multi-phrase voice simulator! There's a secret mission in uncharted space. There's a secret mission in uncharted space. And best of all, high pressure space wings! - To infinity and beyond! - Not a flying toy. Get your Buzz Lightyear action figure and save a galaxy near you! -Buzz Lightyear! -Available at all Al's Toy Barn outlets in the Tri-county area. Out among the stars I sit Way beyond the moon In my silver ship I sail To a dream that ended too soon Now I know Exactly who I am and what I'm here for You are a toy! You can't fly! And I will go sailing No more But no, it can't be true I could fly if I wanted to Like a bird in the sky If I believed I could fly Why, I'd fly To infinity and beyond! Clearly I Will go sailing No more Mom! Mom, have you seen my Sally doll? What, dear? What was that? Never mind! Buzz, the coast is clear. Buzz, where are you? There's a secret mission in uncharted space. Let's go. Really? That is so interesting. Would you like some tea, Mrs. Nesbitt? - Buzz! - It's so nice you could join us on such late notice. - Oh, no. - What a lovely hat, Mrs. Nesbitt. It goes quite well with your head. Hannah! Oh, Hannah! Mom? Please excuse me, ladies. I'll be right back. What is it, Mom? Mom, where are you? Buzz! Hey! Buzz, are you okay? Gone! It's all gone. All of it's gone. Bye-bye. Whoo-whoo. See ya. - What happened to you? - One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and suddenly you find yourself suckin' down Darjeeling... with Marie Antoinette and her little sister. I think you've had enough tea for today. - Let's get you outta here, Buzz. - Don't you get it? You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbitt! Snap out of it, Buzz! I-I-I'm-- I'm sorry, I-- You're right. I am just a little depressed, that's all. I-- I-I can get through this. - Oh, I'm a sham! - Shh! - Look at me. - Quiet, Buzz! I can't even fly out of a window. But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. - The apron is a bit much. - Out the window! Buzz, you're a genius! Come on, come on. This way. Years of academy training wasted! - B-3. - Miss! G-6. Ohh! You sunk it! - Are you peeking? - Oh, quit your whining and pay up. No, no, not the ear. Give me the nose. Come on. How about three out of five? Hey, guys! Guys! - Hey! - Son of a building block! - It's Woody. - He's in the psycho's bedroom. - H-H-Hi! - Everyone! It's Woody! - Woody? - You're kidding! - Woody! We're gonna get out of here, Buzz. Buzz? - Hey, look! - Woody! Oh, boy, am I glad to see you guys! - I knew you'd come back, Woody! - What are you doin' over there? It's a long story, Bo. I'll explain later. Here! Catch this! Whoa! I got it, Woody! - He got it, Woody! - Good goin', Slink! - Now just, just tie it on to somethin'. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - I got a better idea. How about we don't? - Hey! - Potato Head! - Did you all take stupid pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz? And now you want to let him back over here? No! No, no. No, no, no, no, no. You got it-- You got it all wrong, Potato Head. Buzz is fine. Buzz is right here. He's with me. - You are a liar! - No, I'm not! Buzz, come over here and j-just tell the nice toys that you're-- that you're not dead. Just a sec! Buzz, will you get up here and give me a hand? That's very funny, Buzz. This is serious! Hey, Woody, where'd ya go? He's lying. Buzz ain't there. Oh, hi, Buzz. Why don't you say hello to the guys over there? Hiya, fellas! To infinity and beyond! Hey, look! It's Buzz! Yeah! Hey, Buzz, let's show the guys our new secret best-friends handshake. - Give me five, man! - Something's screwy here. So you see, we're friends now, guys. Aren't we, Buzz? You bet. Give me a hug. - Oh, I love you too. - See? It is Buzz. - Now give back the lights, Potato Head. - Wait just a minute. - What are you tryin' to pull? - Nothin'. - Oh, that is disgusting. - Murderer! - No! No, no, no, no, no! - You murdering dog! - It's not what you think, I swear! - Save it for the jury! I hope Sid pulls your voice box out, you creep. No! No! No, no! Don't leave! Don't leave! Y-Ya gotta help us, please! -You don't know what it's like over here! -Come on, let's get out of here. Go back to your lives, citizens. Show's over. Come back! Slink! Slink, please! Please listen to me! No! No, come back! Slinky! Buzz! Go away, you disgusting freaks! All right, back! Back, you cannibals! He is still alive and you're-- you're not gonna get him, you monsters! What are you doin'? Hey. Hey, they fixed you. But-- But they're cannibals. We saw them eat those other toys. Uh, sorry. I-I-I thought that you were gonna, you kn-- you know, eat my friend. Hey, no, no. Hey. Hey! What's wrong? - Sid! - Not now, Mom! I'm busy! Sid! Buzz, come on, get up! Use your legs! Fine! Let Sid trash you! But don't blame me! It came! It finally came! "The Big One." "Extremely dangerous. Keep out of reach of children." Cool! What am I gonna blow? Man! Hey, where's that wimpy cowboy doll? Yes. I've always wanted to put a spaceman into orbit. Yes. Oh, no! Oh, man! Sid Phillips reporting. Launch of the shuttle has been delayed due to adverse weather conditions at the launch site. Tomorrow's forecast? Sunny. Sweet dreams. I looked everywhere, honey, but all I could find was your hat. W-What if we leave them behind? Oh, don't worry, honey. I'm sure we'll find Woody and Buzz before we leave tomorrow. - I need air. - Will you quit moving around? I'm sorry. It's just that I get-- I get so nervous before I travel. How did I get stuck with you as a moving buddy? Everyone else was picked. Oh, Woody. If only you could see how much Andy misses you. Psst! Psst! Hey, Buzz! Hey. Get over here and see if you can get this tool box off me. Oh, come on, Buzz, I-- Buzz, I can't do this without you. I need your help. I can't help. I can't help anyone. Why, sure you can, Buzz. You can get me out of here. And then I'll get that rocket off you and we'll make a break for Andy's house. Andy's house, Sid's house. What's the difference? Oh, Buzz, you've had a big fall. Y-You must not be thinking clearly. No, Woody, for the first time I am thinking clearly. You were right all along. I'm not a Space Ranger. I'm just a toy. A stupid little insignificant toy. Whoa. Hey. Wait a minute. Being a toy is a lot better than being a, a Space Ranger. - Yeah, right. - No, it is. Look, over in that house is a kid who thinks you are the greatest, and it's not because you're a Space Ranger, pal. It's because you're a toy. You are his toy. - But why would Andy want me? - Why would Andy want you? Look at you! You're a Buzz Lightyear! Any other toy would give up his moving parts just to be you. You've got wings! You glow in the dark! You talk! Your helmet does that-- that-- that "whoosh" thing. You are a cool toy. As a matter of fact, you're too cool. I mean-- I mean, what chance does a toy like me have... against a Buzz Lightyear action figure? All I can do is-- There's a snake in my boots! Why would Andy ever want to play with me when he's got you? I'm the one that should be strapped to that rocket. Listen, Buzz, forget about me. You should get out of here while you can. - Buzz, what are you doin'? I thought you-- - Come on, Sheriff. There's a kid over in that house who needs us. Now let's get you out of this thing. - Hit it! - Yes, sir! Come on, Buzz, we can do it. - Woody! It's the moving van! - We gotta get out of here now. Come on, Buzz. All right. - Buzz. Hey, I'm out! - Almost there. I wanna ride the pony. Whew. Woody. Woody, are you all right? No, I'm fine. I'm okay. Oh, yeah! Time for liftoff! Whoo! To infinity and beyond! Whoo-hoo! Back! Back! Down! Down! Okay, what do I do? Come on, Woody, think. Guys! No, no, no, no, wait! Wait. Listen. Please! There's a good toy down there and he's-- he's gonna be blown to bits in a few minutes, all because of me. We gotta save him. But I need your help. Please. He's my friend. He's the only one I've got. Thank you. Okay, I think I know what to do. We're going to have to break a few rules, but if it works it'll help everybody. Houston to Mission Control. Come in, Control. Launchpad is being constructed. All right, listen up. I need Pump Boy here. Ducky, here. Legs? You're with Ducky. RollerBob and I don't move 'til we get the signal. Clear? Okay. Let's move! Wind the frog! Wait for the signal. Go! All right, let's go! I'll get it! Now! I'm coming, I'm coming. Whoa! Scud! Stupid dog. Lean back! Uh, Mission Control, is the launchpad construction complete? Uh, roger. Rocket is now secured to guide wire. We are currently obtaining the ignition sticks. - Countdown will commence momentarily. Stand by. - Let's go. Hey, Mom! Where are the matches? - Oh, wait, here they are. Never mind! - Woody! Great! - Help me out of this thing. - Shh! - What? - It's okay. Everything's under control. - Woody, what are you doing ? - Houston, all systems are go. Requesting permission to launch. Hey. How'd you get out here? Oh, well. You and I can have a cookout later. Houston, do we have permission to launch? Uh, roger. Permission granted. You are confirmed at T-minus ten seconds... and counting. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one-- Reach for the sky. - Huh? - This town ain't big enough for the two of us. What? Somebody's poisoned the water hole. - It's busted. - Who are you calling "busted," buster? - Huh? - That's right. - I'm talking to you, Sid Phillips. - Huh? We don't like bein' blown up, Sid. - Or smashed. Or ripped apart. - We? That's right. Your toys. Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! From now on you must take good care of your toys, because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid. We toys can see everything. So play nice. We did it! We did it! Yes! The toys! The toys are alive! N-Nice toy. What's wrong, Sid? Don't you want to play with Sally? Nice work, fellas. Good job. Coming out of the ground-- what a touch. That was a stroke of genius. Woody. Thanks. Everybody say, "Bye, House!" - Woody! The van! - Bye, House. We gotta run! Thanks, guys! Quick! Just go! I'll catch up! Come on! You can do it, Woody! I made it. Ow! Get away, you stupid dog! Down! Down! Hold on, Woody! I can't do it. Take care of Andy for me! No! Buzz! - Ow! - Are we there already? - Woody? - Woody! - How did you-- - How'd he get here? - Where have you-- What happened-- Ow! - What's goin' on? - What's the-- What's he takin'? - Aha! There you are! Hey, what's he doing? He's at it again! - Get him! - Come on! Get him! Aah! Aah! No! No! No, no, no, no, wait! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Pig pile! - Get out of that car! - Move it! - Whew. - No, please! You don't understand! Buzz is out there! We gotta help him! - Toss him overboard! - No, no, no, no! Wait! Aaah! - Hooray! - So long, Woody! - Ohh, Woody! - Ohh! - Oh! Well, thanks for the ride! - Look out! Aaaah! Now let's catch up to that truck! - Guys! Guys! Woody's riding R.C.! - What? And Buzz is with him! - Ohh! - What? Buzz? Itis Buzz! Woody was telling the truth! - What have we done? - Great! Now I have guilt! We're almost there! - Rocky, the ramp! - Come on, Woody, Buzz! You can do it! Look out! Quick! Hold on to my tail! Atta boy, Slink! Uhh! Woody! - Woody, speed up! - Speed up! The batteries! They're running out! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Whoa! - Aaaah! Hakuna Matata What a wonderful phrase I can't hold on much longer! Slink, hang on! Ouch! Great. - Woody! The rocket! - The match! Yes! Thank you, Sid! No! No, no! No! No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! - Woody, what are you doing? - Hold still, Buzz. You did it! Next stop, Andy. Wait a minute. I just lit a rocket. Rockets explode! I should've held on longer. Look! Look! It's Woody and Buzz coming up fast! Woody! Run! Take cover! Aah! This is the part where we blow up! Not today. Hey, Buzz! You're flying! This isn't flying. This is falling with style. To infinity and beyond! Uh, Buzz, we missed the truck. We're not aiming for the truck. - Hey! Wow! - What? What is it? - Woody! Buzz! - Oh, great! You found 'em. Where were they? - Here in the car! - See? Now, what did I tell you? Right where you left 'em. - Which one can I open first? - Let's let Molly open one. - Frankincense, this is Myrrh. - Hey, heads up, everybody! - It's show time! - Oh! It's time! Oh. Bo. There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention. Merry Christmas, Sheriff. - Say, isn't that mistletoe? - Mm-hmm. Maybe Andy'll get another dinosaur, like a leaf eater. That way I could play the, uh, dominant predator! - Quiet, everyone, quiet. - Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head! - Way to go, Idaho! - Gee, I'd better shave. Come in, Frankincense. Andy is now opening his first present. It's-- - Buzz. Buzz Lightyear. - I can't quite-- - You are not worried, are you? - Me? No. - make out-- - No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Mm-mmm. A large box. It's, it's, it's-- - Are you? - Oh, now, Buzz. What could Andy possibly get that is worse than you? Oh, what is it? What is it? Wow! A puppy! You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me When the road looks rough ahead And you're miles and miles from your nice, warm bed You just remember what your old pal said Boy, you've got a friend in me Yeah, you've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me If you got troubles Then I got 'em too There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you If we stick together we can see it through 'Cause you've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me Now, some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am - Bigger and stronger too - Maybe But none of them will ever love you the way I do It's me and you, boy And as the years go by Our friendship will never die You're gonna see it's our destiny You've got a friend in me You've got a friend in me You've got a Lizziee in me