The Shadowed [On Hold]

Chapter 1 or prologue

It's like I am a match box, every time a match catches fire that emotion is lit. The emotion that isn't lit means I'm not feeling it at all. Several should be lit, important ones that aren't. Things that an ordinary 16 year old shouldn't have to go through. Things nobody wants to experience with the people that have reserved spaces in your heart. Things that only a special person can cause.

It's like one day is the best day of your life, then it turns into the worst. The worst part is that you don't even see it coming, I didn't see it coming. I didn't expect it to happen, no one would.

I thought everything was perfect. The things you can see are always perfect, but what about the things you can't see. The things you don't know.

Once upon a time I took a playbuzz quiz: 'What is your biggest fear?'. I had to watch an ad then the results came.

I got rejection. My biggest fear is being rejected. In a way I understood. Sometimes I wonder if I'm acting like someone else because I'm scared that they will push me away from them. I'm scared that I will loose myself while I'm acting.

People on Instagram and on Pinterest and on all these other social apps say that you should be yourself because no one else is you, and I can't help but disagree with them. If your scared of rejection too, you'd do anything to make a true friend, even if your not the one that is being true. If you don't act like yourself then your acting exactly like someone else. You can't act like someone who has no existence. You act like someone you want to be like or you look up to.

I never used makeup. I liked my freckles and the beauty mark that I had above my lip. I felt like makeup was used when you wanted to hide something, to cover something up. I didn't want to do that, so I never wore it. There are some makeup products that makes a part of you standout, like your eyes or your mouth. I didn't want to use that either. I wanted to enjoy what I looked like, embrace it with a bright smile on my face. Feel more beautiful on the inside than on the outside.

But all good things come to an end or it wouldn't be life.