In the Night

5 • Wading Through Life

E M E R S O N

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The scrunched up paper ball bounced from my hands as I carelessly threw it around. I was sitting in a very uncomfortable chair in front of a large mirror while the hair and makeup artists struggled to make me appear as if I had actually slept last night. I had been up all night, weighing out my choices.

Treenie had invited me to go to Cannes with her next week, which I was already planning to do, but I wasn't sure yet if I wanted to make Treenie and I's relationship public so soon. I mean, we had been fooling around for months now, but a few days ago it started to turn into something a bit more serious.

Did I really want the whole world to know of our relationship when I barely even knew where we stood? I've lived in the spotlight for all of my life, I knew when it could get out of hand.

The Cannes film festival was an event I tried to go to every year. With my always-busy schedule, it was always so difficult to make it. I really appreciated the festival and the beauty and art in the films. It was more than just an excuse to dress up for me. I went because I enjoyed it.

I sighed and scrunched up another paper ball, tossing it against the wall and letting it ricochet into the wastepaper bin. I could feel the hairstylists hands run through my curly locks softly, the gel and mousse making my hair turn stiff and brittle under my touch.

Today I was doing a photo shoot for GQ magazine. I had been voted fourth Sexiest Man Alive this year, behind Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron and Ian Somerhalder. It was a bit disheartening being fourth on the list, considering I was second last year, but I wasn't going to let that disappoint me.

"Alright Emerson, they're ready for you." My publicist said, his voice carrying from outside the tent we were located in. I stood from my chair and waltzed onto set, being blown away by how beautiful it was.

We were on location in Montana, the hills behind us looking picture perfect, as if someone had simply sketched them onto the canvas of the bluebird sky. The healthy green grass below my feet was soft and lush, the colour of the freshest paint on a clean wall.

There was a sparking lake to my left, the sky reflecting off the dancing water. Shimmers of the sun on the water caught my eye, the lake as smooth as a velvet night sky dotted with stars. The colours out here seemed more vivid and real than in LA. The only colour in that city was grey. The ground was grey, the sky was grey, even the air was grey. Out here, it was an alien planet. The blue was bluer, the rocks were sturdier, the clouds even seemed fluffier and more perfect out here. It was like a dream.

The team had set up their cameras and were ready to shoot. I stood wearing a cool button-down Hawaiian styled t-shirt, skinny jeans and leather boots. My hair was slicked high on my head and I was ready to roll.

The shoot only lasted about an hour, so we had a heap of time to kill by the end of the day. I threw off the expensive clothes and broke the surface of the water, the summer heat burning my bare back. The water was cool and refreshing. I laid on my back and stared at the sky, the perfect clouds forming shapes above my head. I spotted animals, cars, even faces.

I wish I could've done this more often. I didn't get enough free time, I didn't get enough time to just sit down and relax. The most exciting part of my day was when I was finally able to let my head fall down onto my pillow and I could relax in dreamland. And then I was brought back to reality by either an alarm or a phone call and my peace was broken. And I'm thrown back into the throng of work and people and interviews and premiers and sound stages. Back into my boring, sad life.