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CHAPTER FIVE

Tuesday: January 5th; 48th day

I wake up, screaming. 

It wasn't a nightmare, but a memory.  

My head is spinning and I feel sick. I can't see straight, my vision blurry. My whole body numb, can't feel my limbs. It wasn't a nightmare, but the memory hurts. 

Her name was being screamed, I was in pain. I didn't want to keep having reminders of what state she's in. I don't want the memories to go away either. I can't think straight. The room is moving side to side, and I feel someone slowly flash a light into my eyes, then it's black. 

My eyes opened, to a white room. 

Except I wasn't in my room, there was no windows, and my hands and legs were cuffed to the bed. I moved my arms, only to be stiff. My legs couldn't bend or be moved side to side. Why was I here? What is this place? I never wanted to be in my room so much in my life. 

I stood there staring at the white walls around me. There were no noises, and nothing on the floor, just me, in the bed. How did I even get here? Questions started to erupt from my head, until the door opened and Dr. Aldreck emerged with his little notebook. 

"Someone put me in this room, help me. Please help me. Why am I here? Please, where's Sydney?" I was freaking out by now, I just wanted to be let out of these cuffs. I wanted to know where my sister was.

Dr. Aldreck stood there for a second and quickly wrote something in his notebook that was made of black leather, then returned to looking at me. 

"Sierra, you have to be here the next few days." 

"I want out of here. Why am I here?" I started to feel little streaks of water run down my face.

"You know the night nurse, Nurse Celica? She heard you scream and rushed to help you. Only when she walked into your room you were in a ball screaming. Your mattress sheet was uncovered and she noticed the tear in your mattress." 

I laid there, quiet. Hoping that he would say the words I had hoped not to hear. The fact was, I was almost certain he was about to say them now because of the way he was speaking to me, in a monotone voice. 

"We found your medication Miss Wells, and you need to stay in here until you can learn to take it without storing it or refusing it." He scribbled some notes in his notebook. 

They had found them. I hadn't wanted to use them anyways. I just didn't want to take them. I wanted to make sure they were where I couldn't take them or where I couldn't see them. However, in this case it covered both requirements, but also broke the rules.

"Sierra, we are only trying to help you and we can't give you the help you need if you refuse it," he looked into my eyes but I looked away.

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't come here for help. I put myself in this hospital so that I wouldn't have to live with some foster parents or wake up in my real room everyday to see my pictures up on the wall. 

I even doubt they are on the wall, or anything is for that fact. 

Having somebody to love me like foster parents would be caring but I only want one family. I can't just replace them. You can have multiple families but only one can mean the most, right?

"See you Monday, Sierra." 

Dr. Aldreck left me in this white room with my body cuffed down with metal bars. 

And the next day I didn't refuse my medication.