Law Of Attraction - Story Of My Life!!!

Epiphany

Heyy senoritas,
It's me again, hoping you guys missed me as much as I missed you people. <3

Before writing this, I thought a lot about what I wanna write about in particular. But I couldn't pin point the reason for craving to write something so I decided on writing exactly what's going on in my mind.

It's 6:00 am in India and I am boarding a flight back home after a stressful term. #muchneededbreak

The flight leaves at 6:10 to Jaipur(P.S- I have window seat. :D )
P.P.S- it's foggy and dark so all I can see through the window is few drops racing each other to the finish line and a small amount of light trying to peak through the trails left by the racing drops.

A sweet newly married couple is sitting next to me- talking, laughing ,giggling ,the guy is being all macho,caring and protective about his wife and the lady is rewarding her husband's efforts with blushing. <3

All in all ...it's all good in here.
I left my novel in the bag and now I have nothing to do except eavesdropping on all the sweet Nothings of the couple next to me.

So I thought I'll write something, after all this semester has been nothing less than a rollercoaster ride for me.

This sem started like any other for me with lots of enthusiasm but trust me, it took everything in me to maintain that level of enthusiasm throughout the whole period.

I got placed in a media entertainment company for summer internship and had the pleasure to meet the disciplinary committee for putting proxy.
(Yeah...yeah...I know...it's unethical and all, but dude seriously with 80% compulsory attendance sometimes you are pushed to do things like this. I regret it because it had consequences and since the day I got caught ,I had been thinking about how I could have prevented it. But did it matter how sorry I was ? Nope!!!!
Did over thinking it And replaying that scene 1000 of times helped ? Nope!!!
(The plane is up in the sky and the rising sun looks breathtaking..)

I tried not to think about it but as we all know, it doesn't exactly works that way. For many days,I had to keep myself distracted and on mechanical mode. I took one day at a time and did the next task to the best of my ability without complaining or thinking about all the IFs, BUTs, WHYs. I do that Everytime some bad thought or bad feeling cloud over my head and that helps. I feel like by over thinking and reliving the same mistake again and again, we just torture ourselves and magnify the problem at hand. It's only as bad as we make it. So I just did what I could and finally it's over.

Now let's talk about the highlight of the term that I just completed - summer placements...!!! The overhyped phenomenon of all the iims. This is one of the ways by which people judge others and boost their egos. The one who got placed with highest package or before everyone else is the best but nope... placements happen in the most haphazard way possible...nobody knows who might take the best job and because of what reasons. There is so much luck factor involved that it almost make your months of preparation seem useless. But then, what is it about the placements that it give jitters to even the bests among the lot ?
I think it's different for everybody, for me it was the fear of being judged as not being good enough, the fear of not being able to prove myself among the best. All my life, I have somehow managed to be in the "good enough" crowd. Now suddenly, when I am placed among the best brains of the country, I feel like I have lost my X-factor. Whatever I have done...someone else has already done it better. I think this is what many of us faces on different stages of our lives, we judge ourselves on various external factors and when you give power to something that is not in your control,there are high chances that the result will not be in your favor..!!
I am learning and I am learning every single day, I am experiencing things, people ,emotions and circumstances that I could have never imagined. I am forced everyday to walk a little outside my comfort zone and trust me, I hate doing that, nobody can curse that place in those moments more than me but then when I look back, I feel I have learned.
Different people have different ways of teaching, some teach me patiently with love and some kick my self respect to force me to learn, but either way- I learn.
And we all should learn, walk that one extra mile everyday(even if you're crying while doing that), keep the people you love close to you and learn. Do the same fucking thing again and again and again, unless it starts to make sense. Seek help..keep your ego aside and ask, for you'll find many who are willing to extend a hand. Trust people- I know it's too much to ask for when you have been betrayed but is this life really worth living if you cannot trust anyone ever again ? What's the worst that could happen? You'll be betrayed again and that's ok, you'll heal and you'll love again. Trust 100 people and you'll find atleast 25 to keep forever, and the rest 75 will be taken care by KARMA :P

But let's not loose ourselves in this race. Let's cherish the person we truly are, let's be humble, kind and let's love. For love is all that this world needs to heal.

(P.S.- I slept in between while writing this and I am almost home... yayyy!!! )

Love you guys a lot and if there is anything ever you need to talk about just blabber, I am just a message away.
Take care. May the force be with you. :)