Stargazing: Changing Our Stars

Chapter Two

There was something about the rain that captivated me. It was on rainy days that the heavens and sky seemed so much closer to us. Like it could be reached if you tried hard enough. I was told rainy days was when our prayers were heard all the more clear because He was closer. God was in the rain.

I love holding onto my childhood because sometimes it seems that’s all I have. A faint memory of happiness way before the true nature of life had wrapped its intricate web around me. But,  alas. Memories are just that. An inscription of what was and what will never be again.

Thinking about it, as children we don’t know anything really. Maybe that’s the bliss behind ignorance. Although, even today, I’m not sure anything has really changed. I don’t know anything really.

Today a storm had set in. The sky was falling. I wondered if God really would answer my call this time. Or would my prayers and hopes simply be in vain as every time before.

I dragged my finger tips across the wet concrete railing along the hospital rooftop.

The rain and rooftops...  I presume I wanted the best chance of my prayers being heard.
“You know, it’s okay to be afraid.” I recognized that tell-tale Irish accent back from the coffee shop. Her red hair was tugged into her black knitted peaked cap and her scarf matched it perfectly as it hung loosely around her neck with one twist.

Okay to be afraid.

I stood staring at her-the storm growing in strength as I continue to be petaled by the endless barrage of raindrops.

“It’s really okay.” She said as she walked towards me. “I heard about the boss lady.”

I turned away and leaned my weight onto the railing. “The doctors keep saying she’ll be fine. Her cancer is only in stage one so she should be able to lead a normal life. But, she keeps ending up in this place.”
The Irish girl remained quiet as she placed her forearms onto the balcony next to me. “So, waiter boy, you still owe me a cup of coffee.” I knew she was trying to get my mind away from what was going on, yet, her words sounded blunt. There was no sense of hesitation behind them at all, like she was completely indifferent to what my reaction would me. Her eyes were fixated onto the city lights.

To be honest, her indifference came as a relief. Sure, having people who care does help. It really does. A pity party, however...
“I would love to see the real thing again some time.”

“Excuse me?” I asked as I turned towards her. She had her arm outstretched towards the millions of city lights.

“Stars.” She said. I was taken slightly by surprise. It was an unusual request to say the least. But, then again, she didn’t quite strike me as the usual girl. She seemed differed. The single word alone was filled with so much longing that I struggled to comprehend it.
“I used to count them every night before I fell asleep.”

“That sounds amazing. Around these parts, the city lights are the closest we’ll ever get to stars.” I said.

“Tell me, Waiter boy. Have you ever seen them?” She turned to me. Her voice got carried away slightly by the booming storm as water droplets fell down her cheeks, leaving me unsure whether they were rain or tears. Yet, her eyes met mine. I remember that look in her eyes. It remembered it from back at the coffee shop. She gave me the exact same look as she asked me to sit down. Yet I only just  realized how much sadness it harboured. It was piercing.

I turned away in attempts to escape the intensity of her glare before answering.
“Yeah. I used to stay out until they came out at night.” I said as my lip began to tremble again. Part of me expected her to question me, yet, she showed that same indifference again.
“Paige.”

“Excuse me?”

“I figured you’d need the name of the costumer you owe a free cup of coffee.” She said blankly. For a moment I thought she was joking until I turned back to her. She was staring off into the distance again. Her expression completely blank.

“Sure. Daiman.” I said as she nodded. “I take it you like coffee.”

She smiled as she turned around and walked back inside.
“See you around, waiter boy.”