You Need To Breathe [Solangelo]

You Need To Breathe

Will knew he had a problem. He knew it in the way his back ached. He knew it in the shortness of his breath. His knew it in the tightness around his ribcage, the twinges of pain in his abdomen, the burning deep inside his lungs. Will knew he had a problem. He was simply avoiding acknowledging it.

It's easy to pass now that Will was sixteen. He had been on T for a year (because he couldn't wait for his birthday to do it legally) and he had always been tall (thank his blessed godly genes) so he didn't have to correct people, which helped his self-esteem. His voice was relatively low and he was generally traditionally masculine.

His chest was the problem.

As a child on Apollo, he was born attractive, ready for fame and fortune. But since he was born in the body of a female, that meant he had boobs. Very large boobs, in his opinion.

It sucked.

He could manage walking around his cabin, even Nico's cabin, without a binder. Anywhere else? You've gotta be kidding. Will would rather suffocate than be caught without binding. Like now.

Nico was speaking with a newcomer, a brunette that rose to the bottom of his chest in height and wore a similarly determined expression. Will recognized the girl as Dani, a daughter of Nike. Both of the dark-eyed demigods stared at each other with disdainful glares.

"Bye," Kayla said, handing Will his backpack and shooing him toward Nico even though Will had made no indication of wanting to leave.

"Bye, Kayla," he responded with a roll of his eyes.

A harmonized chorus of Apollo kids sang goodbye. Nico looked up, and Will beamed when the corners of his boyfriend's mouth quirked up in amusement.

Will pressed a kiss to Nico's forehead, enjoying the height difference everytime he noticed it. Dani gave a curt goodbye to Nico, and ignored Will altogether.

Before he could ask, Nico said, "She's got a crush on you."

Will didn't believe that, and Nico could tell. The raven haired boy just clasped the taller boy's hand and pulled him out of the infirmary. Will reflected on what Dani could have told Nico to come to the conclusion that Dani liked Will.

Clovis waved. Nico waved back, which made Will smile softly. Nico was still having a little trouble with social interactions. He was glad the boy could mindlessly greet a friend calmly.

Nico tugged his hand and opened the door to cabin 13. He rounded on Will as soon as it clicked shut.

"You need to take your binder off," Nico prompted gently.

Will squirmed. The action hurt.

"Don't look," Will muttered, and Nico turned toward the bed.

Will tugged off his shirt and pulled off his binder. It twinged his ribs uncomfortably. He slowly  put the shirt back on, not having a bra stored inside Nico's cabin.

"She had a crush on you," Nico told Will when the taller boy wrapped his arms around Nico's shoulders. "She told me. She said she liked you longer than I did, that she worked hard to get noticed by you."

"What did you say?"

Nico shrugged. "I told her you were gay."

Will laughed at his bluntness. Nico pulled him down on the bed, and the blond kissed Nico's cheek. He stayed behind him, though. He didn't like it when Nico saw him look so… girly.

"You…," Nico began, then stopped. "You don't have to be nervous around me."

"I'm not," Will protested.

"I want you to be relaxed here. You're not comfortable unless you're in a binder," Nico argued, shifting.

He turned around, to Will's discomfort, and wrapped his arms around Will's neck. Chest to chest. There was no way he wouldn't be able to feel Will's—deformities.

Will supposed he shouldn't have been surprised when Nico kissed him.

Will is caught off guard every time Nico does something affectionate. The Italian's kisses are sparse, even in private. Being the center of Nico's romantic attention is an honor Will doesn't think he'll ever get used to.

"You don't have anything to worry about here," Nico whispered, his forehead on Will's. "I love you."

Warmth bloomed in Will's chest. He nuzzled Nico and tightened his arms around the brunet's midsection. Nico carded his fingers through blond locks absently.

"You need to breathe," Nico stated, punctuating his words with another peck on Will's lips.

"I know," Will croaked. "I know."

They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Will found himself unable to keep his eyes open.

"Sleep peacefully, Will," Nico whispered after the blond's breathing had evened out.

With a kiss to Will's jaw, Nico closed his eyes and fell into a calm and dreamless slumber.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Short and sweet, and a way for my to handle dysphoria. Also on ao3