By Impy~
So, you may be wondering, "lol wat is a turtato o u o derp"? A turtato is what it sounds. It's a turtle, but for a shell, it has a potato. There was a special turtato in the land of Turdsylvania named "Jeremy." Jeremy was very special in his own little way. He wanted to be able to fly high into the sky, where there is endless blue skies at day, then a black canvas speckled with stars at night. Fluffy, cottony clouds, bird friends, everything. But his friends always shot him down.
"Ha, a wimpy turtato like you cant fly." Sheldon the ***** ( not appropriate for kids! It starts with a b. ) remarked, snickering. Jeremy tried to ignore him, and continued to look up into the vast sky. Sheldon got madder and madder. Jeremy, thinking he was so smart and to ignore him! He grew angrier and angrier. He crawled over to Jeremy, and prepared to beat him up!
He watched as a foot was going so fast! Then, "dink." It barely made contact to Jeremy's shell. He was tipping, tipping, going closer and closer to the dirty, grassy ground. He rolled over, completely upside down, and confused as well. Sheldon laughed hysterically as Jeremy struggled to roll right side up. Jeremy couldn't talk, all he could do was make little noises. He let out something high pitched, and started moving his legs. He thought he was walking... on sunshine. WAAA-OH! IM WALKIN ON SUUNSHHIINE, WAAA-OH! Oh, sorry. Read on.
After a long time of walking on sunshine, Sheldon got bored of watching Jeremy being the pitiful thing he is. "I'm bailing," He groaned. He took a small bite of fresh, juicy grass, and crawled away at a mile an hour. "So fast," Jeremy thought. "What's the rush?" After 20 minutes, Jeremy reached the road. It was sunset now, the sky orange, pink, blue, with purple clouds streaking the skyline. Lots of cars came by. Jeremy was too fixated on the sky to hear the "splat" of Sheldon.
Coming to his senses, all Jeremy could see was a turtato's head cut off, red junk everywhere, and a potato. Food! Jeremy suddenly rolled over, and crawled faster. ( 15 minutes! That's a world record!! ) Walking to the pavement, the thought, "Lol, that should be a new 'Dumb Ways to Die' thing. 'Get run over, by a car~'". He made sure no cars were coming, and took a bite out of his shell. It was warm and steamy, packed with flavor. A little bloody, but nonetheless good protein.
As this short tale ends, kids. Remember. Only eat hot potatoes.
IM WALKING ON SUNSHIIIIIIINE, WAAAOOOH! IM WALKING ON SUNSHIIIIINE, WAAOOOH!
OH CRAP I THOUGHT YOU LEFT
