No Plan B

2

End of the day and I was still jotting down "Plan B"s. It's actually 1:45 am. I haven't slept at all, and I've been heating up my coffee cups all night.

PLAN B'S

Firefighter– no because I will chicken out
A band– 90% of bands end up breaking up. I think
Art– suck at it
Picture taking– cameras are expensive
Barista– right now
Office guy– oh hell no
Literature– books take forever to actually make, and if it isn't good then I make nothing.

My list so far had nothing good. All of it was sure to kill me, lead me to a more cynical depression, or give me PTSD. Or just not work out period.

I can cook. Yeah, I can make a mean spaghetti. My mom's secret recipe. That won't work.

I let out a loud, over exaggerated groan and grabbed my phone. I peaked at my unread texts.

Hayley (11:56 pm)
yo, c, wanna come hang at my place? i got some p hot chicks over here 😏

i'm joking. im not that cool. anyways, watcha doin?

(12:06 am)

c are you asleep?

(12:10 am)

uhhhhhh c?

(12:36 am)

okay dude im worried what's up

(5 missed calls & 3 voicemails)

(1:12 am)

c pls pick up.

is this about earlier?

yo im vvv srry

connor dude

(1:36 am)

okay whatever. c u in the morning

I decided to listen to the voicemails.

"Hey, Connor, can you please pick up?"

"I really hope you're just asleep instead of ignoring me. Call me."

"Try and call me back? I'm super worried."

I chewed on my bottom lip and went to her contact. Finally, I decided to call her. The ringer went off 3 times.

"Oh my god! Thank your for finally callin'! Are okay?" Worry was laced within her voice.

I nodded, knowing she can't physically see me. "Yes, I'm fine. I was just writing something." I replied as I doodled in the corner of the paper.

I could hear her attention being grabbed. "Ooh, what?"

"Plan Bs. I've got nothing everything is going to make me more mentally ill than I already am or will end in nothing." I sighed, slouching in my seat.

"Oh. Art?"

"I suck at it."

"Band?"