Rebel Without a Clue

Prologue

The Story

1958

On a hot afternoon, while huddled behind a hedge, Legless caught a glimpse of a woman in an apron and fluffy slippers. She was bent over her basket of washing. Legless stared at her small behind pressing against her nylon skirt and lust filled his loins. Surprised, he decided to take action; an action that had not been spoken of for many years on his planet, and he had the woman's rollers rattling beneath her scarf for at least two minutes.

Then he slipped away.

The woman stood up; she had felt something peculiar, but nothing too drastic; nothing a little Epsom's salts and a hairdryer wouldn't cure.

Nine months later an Identity was born...

That year the sales of Epsom's salts soared as women all over the world, bending over their washing, had their rollers rattled like a martini; shaken but not stirred...

****

Of course Beryl was watching; she watched everything. She had installed the latest mirror for just such a purpose. And it was money well spent. Beryl took a sip of her illegal beverage and smiled. Legless was the last man on Planet Hy Man to show any sign of gumption; and now she had 'done away with him'.

Well done, your Sirness; well done, you!

Of course, Beryl knew Legless couldn't resist Earth, it was so – well – earthy, and she knew that a man like Legless could not withstand the temptation of an 'old-style female', especially in an apron.

She poured another sparkling water, this time with extra ice. Yes, installing a two-way mirror was the height of intelligence. Not many knew about these mirrors, not even Legless, but he was easily persuaded to take one. Legless liked to look at himself and he had no idea that a mirror on earth allowed Planet Hy Man to watch, all be it with an imperfect view. Still, peering from the side pocket of a male hell bent on getting his leg over, was better than nothing – as long as you had the sound turned down.

Beryl looked at the enormous mirror she had retrieved for just such a purpose. It filled the wall and smacked of authority. She studied her face, it was a face built for power – long, lean and with little ability to crack a smile. In fact the nearest she got to a smile was a slight lift of the left side of her lip; not an attractive look for an Earth woman, but it worked wonders on Planet Hy Man.

The left side of her lip remained still as she thought about Legless – he was gone for good, no turning back.

Who needs a double-crossing man with ideas above his cycling shorts? He should have remembered who he was and, more importantly, who she was.
She pushed her beehive hair into shape. I would have sorted the energy problems – eventually – after all a spark plug is but a mere few bolts...I was almost there.

And that's what she told herself for the next fifty years...