sweet surrender | pulisic ✓

eighteenth

The fact that her phone had yet to buzz quite honestly frustrated her. Erik should have replied her text a long time ago. Yet there was only silence as she stared at her phone.

But the silence was broken when she heard someone approaching, causing her to look up. She froze when she saw him, her mind suddenly going blank.

Without a word, Christian took a seat two spaces beside her. A small sigh escaped his lips when he finally turned to face her. He didn't need to speak for Alex to know what was going through his mind. It was written all over his face.

Alex opened her mouth, ready to apologize the way she had practiced about a million times in her head. Unfortunately however, she just couldn't seem to conjure the words as she watched him. All she could do was stumble over her own words as they slipped from her mouth.

"I – I know sorry won't do anything. But – but if I could take back everything I did, I swear to you I would," she spoke slowly, her emotions suddenly running high.

Christian, who had been staring at his fidgeting fingers, glanced at her before directing his gaze to the field in front of him. "But you can't, can you?" He mumbled, more to himself than to her.

Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair which was blowing lightly in the wind. She thought she had everything planned out, what she was going to say to him. But actually being in the position she was in seemed to shut down her brain. She was suddenly doubting that she could even get him back.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, Christian," she began, looking down sadly. "But I want you to know that –" she paused, glancing at Christian; his gaze still on the pitch ahead of them, "you made me realize something I probably wouldn't have if it weren't for you."

At that point she kept her head low, gluing her eyes onto her hands resting on her lap. "I was so busy trying to impress my mom I forgot to enjoy and love what I was doing – in baking." She paused, wanting so bad to look into his eyes as she said her last sentence.

But she didn't.

"Until I met you," she murmured, almost to herself. But Christian heard it, loud and clear, and instinctively he found himself turning to look at her. He caught himself there, and forced himself to quickly look away.

The debate in his head was beginning to irk him by then. A part of him was practically begging to forgive her knowing that surely, she was truly sorry. Besides, he couldn't deny the feelings that remained despite having been hurt by the same person. It was love, wasn't it?

Deep down he knew it was love. He knew he was in love with her. But he couldn't stop thinking about what she had done. She had quite literally broken his heart, and he will never forget how that felt like.

As the pair sat there in silence for what felt like the longest time, Christian thought about it. In all honesty, he wanted to forgive her. It was almost like a little voice in his head was urgently pushing for him to forgive her.

But could he really do it? Could he really just –

"Uh, I –I should go," Alex spoke suddenly, bringing Christian back to reality. She slowly stood up, the silence from Christian getting to her head. Thinking that that was probably the end, she quickly reached for her bag.

Unknowingly, tears were beginning to well in her eyes as she forced herself to accept it all. Christian is gone, Alex. You were the one who let him slip through your fingers.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, before fishing for something from inside her bag. She gently placed the piece of paper she had retrieved from her bag into his hands. "I never used it. I never deserved it anyway," she uttered.

She didn't wait for him to reply. She simply turned her back on him and ambled away, sniffling silently as the tears began flowing down. As she quickly ambled away, all Christian could do was watch in silence.

The little voice in his head came back right then, urging him to run after her. To say something, at the very least. But he didn't oblige. Instead he looked down, at the piece of folded paper she had so gently placed in his hands.

Maybe I should go after her, he contemplated, gingerly picking up the piece of paper. Ironically, he wasn't sure what to expect. But as the words began coming into view, he began to realize that she had given back the one thing she had wanted in the first place.

The one thing Alexandra Durm had so desperately needed; she had given it back to him.

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CHRIS IS WEARING JULIAN'S JACKET HERE AHHHHH THE SHIP

Also guys I'm so so sorry my little break took much longer than expected. I had this horrible case of writers block after my exams and I don't even know if this chapter and the next is good ):

I do hope you guys enjoyed it regardless, and double upload because I love you guys! Have a lovely day all of you xx