Can You Hear Me? [B.A.P Fanfiction]

It's Okay

Junhong hadn't meant to avoid him for so long. He really hadn't. But one ignored text became two, then three, then four and Junhong became afraid that it was too late to even think about replying.

He noticed the small notes placed on his door but he'd only tear them down and hide them in his room, refusing to read them. He'd even noticed Yongguk's silhouette standing outside his door, knocking or ringing his doorbell, then again he wouldn't know.

Junhong didn't know what to think and he knew he was putting things off by avoiding Yongguk, but he just didn't know what to do. There was no one to guide him and he'd never experienced this with anyone else.

It'd been a long time since he let someone into his life. And a part of him wanted to see how far Yongguk would go before he would give up like everyone else. Even though it was selfish of him to do so.

He decided to waste away his time by editing the novels that kept piling up and he finished chapter after chapter until he was halfway done. Needless to say, his manager was very pleased with his progress.

Junhong noticed he was running out of flour and considering he wanted to bake some bread that night he would need to make a quick stop to the grocery store. He inwardly groaned and wished there was a delivery system of some sorts.

Then again he hadn't left his apartment in a week or so, maybe it was time to get out for a bit.

He prepared exactly what he needed and put in a pair of earbuds so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone. Junhong took a deep breath and opened the door before he stepped outside.

Junhong locked his apartment door and nodded to himself before he turned to head down the hallway, but he froze when he saw Yongguk appear from the stairwell. The two looked into each other's eyes and time seemed to come to a stop.

"Junhong." his eyes widened and he took a deep breath, knowing that now there was no way he could avoid the elder. Not when he was standing right there. But his eyes darted back to his door unconsciously.

"Wait." Yongguk jogged towards him and held onto his hands as though he didn't want Junhong to leave. The younger looked down at the warm hands holding his own and Yongguk let go, muttering an apology that Junhong couldn't hear.

"I just want you to hear me out okay? I mean..." Yongguk hesitates and Junhong gestures for him to continue, even though the elder's word choice hurt him he knew it was a common phrase.

"I don't pity you Junhong. It's not like I'm trying to save you or anything... I just... I don't know what I'm trying to do here but I want to know you?" Yongguk seems flustered for a bit and Junhong is aware that he's trying to find the right words.

"It's okay." Junhong mouths and Yongguk's eyes widen as he processes what the younger "said" to him. He opens his mouth to speak once more and Junhong shushes him, shaking his head.

"It's okay."

Junhong lays on his couch whilst staring at the vibrating walls and he feels his heart lodged in his throat. His stomach feels uncomfortable and he can't stop thinking about Yongguk.

He knew how hard the elder was trying to reach out for him and he appreciated it so so much. More than Yongguk would ever imagine. But he didn't know, he was just so uncertain about this whole thing.

Junhong knew that he wanted to change. And he knew that Yongguk was a perfect opportunity for this. The elder was patient and he was silent but caring, he was someone who was willing to get to know him.

There was a line that was drawn between them, and it felt as though Yongguk was standing on it, holding out his hand with a smile as he waited for Junhong to take it. Even though the younger was standing a few steps away, inside his own circle.

He knew that it was unfair of him to do so, but he'd always spent his years protecting himself. Junhong could still remember all of the chances that passed him by because he was simply too afraid to take them.

Junhong stood up and walked towards his wall, placing his hand there as he felt gentle thuds beneath his fingertips. He mouthed random words and tried bobbing his head, but he couldn't do it right.

He sighed and fell to his knees, covering his ears with his hands as he let out a shaky breath. Why didn't they work? He had them like everyone else but they didn't work.

Without giving himself a chance to regret he dashed towards his kitchen counter, swiping his notepad off of the cold marble. He scribbled down a sentence and with a worried heart he stepped out of his apartment.

Junhong knocked on his neighbour's door and a part of him prayed that there would be no answer. He clenched his teeth and waited for it to open.

Yongguk pulled open the door and his expression was nonchalant but slightly surprised at the same time. He simply waited as Junhong raised his notepad.

"What is music like?"

It's Okay - NELL