Letting Go

Parents

The next morning, Ryan and I jumped to finish the bucket list. It's been 2 months and we already finished #18: have a family day out, #14: go skinny dipping, #10: serenade strangers #23: kiss a dolphin, #27: act like a famous person in the street, and #30: sing in front of a crowd. Of course we had to take off some of the more physical things because of the state that I'm in. I've been getting weaker and weaker every day.

My parents have been home more often since they no longer have to pay for my treatment and we've never been closer. They have been by my side through everything. Of course they were begging me to go into the hospital but I know it'll be useless. I could feel the life in me slowly leaving and going to the hospital would only make me uncomfortable. For this reason, my parents with the help of the hospital put together a mini hospital room in my bedroom. It gives me all of the medical things I need while maintaining my comfort.
"Hey, Ryan do you mind passing me my pillow?" I croaked quietly.
Ryan passed me my mint green pillow, and sat back down. Ryan and my parents all sat around my bed, with looks of denial on their faces. I told them that this was it, that I'm going to leave them tonight.
"Ryan can you leave me with my parents for a little?"
Ryan looks at me with longing before leaving. I look towards my parents, the people who gave up everything for me. I want to let out everything, but I just don't know how. I've been hiding my feelings for so long now that I don't know which ones are real.
"Mom, dad," I start shakily. "I just want you guys to know that I love you guys so much. And I appreciate everything that you did for me. I know that you gave up everything for me and did anything I needed and I don't have the right to ask you for anything. But there's only one thing that I need to ask of you. When I'm gone you have to start living your life. You need to get out and go on dates and just be free. Life is way too short to be crying over something you can't change. I know that my condition put a damper on your relationship and I am so sorry about that, but now is time to fix it. There's no tomorrow or next week, there's only today. Don't hide your feelings from each other like I did with you guys. Be open, it's the only way. And it's okay to cry, use each other to get better. I love you guys so much just remember that," by the end of my speech I was crying so hard, I don't think they could even understand what I was saying.
After the heartfelt conversation, I sent my parents out and Ryan walked in.