Father Before The grave

The First Step

I ran down the stairs,carrying my back pack behind me.i left it at the bottom of the stairs then walked into the living room.''Niiiiiii-saaaaan!'' i heard a shrill voice call before being tackled to the ground by my little sister.''Niii san Niii san!.'''she chimed,hugging me tightly.i look at her,smiling softly.she was only four but somehow id managed to teach her a little japanese,albeit slightly incorrect but still very cute.i just thought nii san|big brother,sounded better than nee san.''o jo san,di jo bu ka?''.i asked ruffling her hair,she nodded tentatively.''hai! hai!'.though im not entirely sure she got it.''okay little sister now get off me.''.i said.''sister?''.she asked,a confused look on her face.i smiled placing a hand on her head.''yea were sisters you know,sssissters''.i drawled emphasizing on the word.she quirked her head to the side.''si.sister..''.she worded before suddenly jumping off me and running into the kitchen.uh oh,i thought.i knew what was coming.i followed her into the kitchen,my mum was by the stove making breakfast while my little sister ran circles around her chanting.''sister sister mommy sister sister sister.....''.my mum dropped spatula,turning to face her.''oh tami,learnt a new word have we now....thank you kihika!''.she sent me a look before turning back      to smile at  my sister.she gave her a kiss then returned to the stove.my sister ran up to the counter and took a seat next to me before screaming.''Ramen,ramen!,i want ramen,oi,oiiiiii....ahjussi!''.she yelled,banging her hands on the table.ok so i probably shouldnt have let her watch those korean soaps with me either,and its probably not healthy to teach her japanese in tow.i guess trying to cramp three languages in her head,english included,might have certain effects.my mum glared at me,a promise to have a talk later.i whimpered,laying my head on the table.

''Ooma!''.i called out,it was something i thought up a few years ago...its the korean version of mom.its so i dont sound like a wuss shouting mommy in public,and putting in a chime mom just aint my style..and besides,it makes her feel special.she turned,sliding a plate to my direction.she walked over,taking a seat she handed me my cup of cofee.i paused looking down at my cup.''ooma''.i started.''whys my cofee green?''.i asked.''thats cause its not cofee,its green tea.you need something healthy to get you going.''.i sighed,palming my foreheard.''ooma..thats what caffeine does,nothing gets you farther than that and besides,the mix we have at home is chucked full of  all that icky milky goodness you're into,so i don't see why you have a problem with it.''.i said,eyeing the contents in my cup.''it tastes fine kihika,you drink that cofee stuff too much already..besides,i heard it causes cancer.''she said,my brow twitched.that was it,no use now,that was how she ended most of our arguments..in her book everything can give you cancer,twas best to let it be.''neh ooma,can i not go..id rather just stay home''.she sides,dropping her fork to look at me.''i know you're still hurting,i hear you up in your room sometimes talking to yourself.i know you've lost faith but i cant let you go back to that world sweetie. you're a human being,and you have to meet other people too,i know you  wanted more for yourself but this is the best i can do,this is reality honey and you have to get used to it.

I THREW MY LUGGAGE IN THE BOOT OF THE CAR,SHUTTING IT BEFORE TURNING WALKING BACK TO WHERE MY MOM WAS STANDING,MY LITTLE SISTER IN HER ARMS.''guess ill be leaving now..see you guys in two weeks...if i survive that long''.she gave me a look.i shrugged lightly then gave them a tight hug''.i'll miss you''.        ''well miss you too honey''. i looked up at her,she gave me a small nod before letting go of me.**********************************************************************************************the driver started the car and we slowly began to exit the compound,i looked out the car window,getting one last look  at my family.she blew me a kiss,smiling sweetly while my sister jumped in her arms,gurgling happily.she waved at me then said something,i could barely make out what she said but i knew,we always said it to eachother,whenever we parted.i waved back,tears welling at the sides of my eyes,i didnt know why but my heart was heavy,it felt like i was seeing them for the last time.i sunk back into the car seat,a hand over my heart,''peace of the lord be with you my darling''............................................''and also with you..ooma!'.  i closed my eyes,humming a familiar tune she used to sing to me as a child.'panis angelicus, ,fit panis hominum.....'my voice grew softer as i slowly faded into sleeo..'jaane..ooma!''.