Delia Smith Phancakes

Chapter 2

{A/N

This chapter contains self harm, so skip it if you want, it's just a filler so you won't need to catch up on much, anyways thankyou for 7 reads already! it means so much c:}

Dans POV

The room was so tense, I decided to break the ice.

"did-" We both said at the same time.

We started laughing, and Phil spat his tea out which made us laugh even harder. I stood up and reached for a tea-towel, just as Phil was, our hands brushed against each other. My mouth opened slightly as I felt and electric shock tingle all the way up my arm.

I looked up to Phil, he was fumbling with the tea towel trying to mop up his tea. Had he not noticed the sparks then? I was right all along, he doesn't like me, he doesn't feel the same way as I do, and thats when I realised. I could never call him mine.

"Um, excuse me" I whispered and made my way up to my room and into the bathroom, locking the doors and sitting on the counter. I let my tears spill uncontrollably down my cheeks, flushing them red. I heard footsteps, and hastily turned the shower in an attemt to drown out my cries.

*knock knock*

Ugh, what do I say? I swipe the tears away, sniff quietly and clear my throat.

"What, I'm in the shower right now, can this wait till later?" I shouted, hoping the thought of me naked in the shower would send him running. I thought that joke would make me smile, but then I thought of how true it was and the tears came again.

I heard a deep sigh, and awkward shuffling from outside the door. Why isn't he leaving? I got some tissue paper and patted it on my blotchy face trying to make it regain colour again.

"Dan, I know your not in the shower" Phil shouted

I gulped, and switched the shower off, mimicking standing out the shower to make it seem realistic. How did he know?!

"What was that sorry, I couldn't hear" I shouted through the door, hoping he would fall for it. He didn't.

"If you couldn't hear, then how did you know I asked a question?"

Shit.

"Dan, look I can tell you've been crying, I could hear you, just let me in and maybe I can help?" He whispered, I could hear the hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Actually I haven't been crying, I've been in the shower, thank you." I said, as I unlocked the door and stepped outside, the coldness stinging my face.

"Oh if that's true, then how did you dry yourself? You haven't got a towel Dan?"

Shit. Why do I always fuck up?

"Phil just drop it okay?" I said harshly at him

"No I want to know!" He protested

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" I snapped at him, as I ran out the room, grabbing my coat and running out the door.

Phil's POV

I felt it, the sparks, the fireworks, when our hands touched, I wanted to just cup my hands around his face and kiss him. But I couldn't,  I had to act casually, so I pretended it hadn't happened, as always.

Dan stood up abruptly, and left the room. I let out a deep sigh and shivered. I run my hand over the place where Dan touched me still feeling the spark there. I loved how it felt, the warmness, the way his hand moulded into mine, softly bushing against my icy skin.

I closed my eyes trying to relive the memory when they were interrupted buy faint cries heard from upstairs. Dan? Why was he crying?

I hate it when Dan lies, but this time was different he was trying to cover up the fact that he'd been crying and this worried me. Dan is always so open, and he rarely cries but when he does he tells me and we get through it together.

But not today, it must've been important because he knows I hate lying and he told load of lies before. Why couldn't he just tell me? I kept asking him until he snapped. Dan snapped at me. Ran out the room. Ran out the house. Trying to get away from me. From me.

What if he does something terrible, I couldn't bear with the guilt if he has, if only I hadn't kept pestering him and just left him alone everything woukd be fine. Except it wouldn't Dan would have still cried and not told me. It was better to ask him than not try at all.

What if Dan tries to- NO, I shook my head trying to clear my mind of these thoughts. Shut up Phil, he's probably just getting some air.

But what if he wasn't?! the thought kept creeping back into my mind. I have to stop this.

I pulled the stool under the desk out and stood ontop of it, reaching the top of the wardrobe and reaching for a little black box. The little black box I swore I'd never turn to again. I opened it and smiled looking at the shiny sharp razors. My arms begged for the pain.

I selected, a sharper looking one and pressed it deeply into my skin, smiling as the numbness settled in. No more pain, Dan couldn't hurt me anymore, until the pain subsided and I had to do another, and another and another, deeper and deeper. It was so addictive. I deserved the pain, I deserved this for being a disgusting human being. I'm pathetic.