THE DEMONS

Chapter 12: realization

MALIKA'S P.O.V.

I got home that night and decided to just relax and try to forget the events of the past two weeks ,cause for me they were extremely tiring and unnerving.

As i tried to relax that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks it was when i realized why seeing blaine at the dinner actually bothered me " i like Blaine , I'm actually attracted to Blaine " I said to myself as I slumped down on my couch and allowed my self to take things in and I couldn't believe that after all this while my stupid heart refused to heed the warning of my brain and decided to actually feel something which could only lead to one thing DISASTER........

Slowly those traitor tears decided to slip down and i felt a pang in my chest as all the unwanted memories came rushing back and when i remembered what the next day meant it was three years, three years since i finally lost hope.

That night i just slept on the couch because all energy in every fiber of my body was used up in crying , i cried and cried for hours but the pain didn't go away it was like it only increased the pain only became more unbearable as i held my self close trying not to lose the little bit of sanity left in me as i wept for the troubles fate had sent my away ,i wept because i gave up, i wept because I couldn't fight anymore .

I wept because it felt like every choice i made in life didn't matter because it was like fate was out to get me and the world as tied of occupying me ,and at that moment I wouldn't have minded living if I didn't promise ,promise I wouldn't give up and surrender to my ill fate.

    When i woke up the next morning it was already ten and i had a class for eleven so i rushed to wash away all the dirt on my body but it felt like I didn't just stand under the shower to get rid of body filth it felt like i was trying to wash away my sadness i tried to wash away what that day meant to me.

After getting out of he shower i was quick to just put on a baggy top with some ripped jeans and put my hair in a messy bun. I got to class about five minutes before the professor decided to stroll in.

The class went by quite quickly for me, a little bit to quick because i dreaded the remaining activity of the day , i dreaded what i had to do that evening but as always the world had to be so cruel to me .

After all the classes of the day i finally decided to pick up the flowers i finally decided to go and see him ,not that it was long it was merely two months since i was there but it still hurt so much to go that particular day .

As i walked into the familiar burial ground ,the short wall ,all the defenses i was able to build ,they crumbled they all went down because i couldn't hold it , losing  a loved one is like losing yourself its like cutting off a very vital part of your existence and that is exactly how my heart felt as all those memories i tried my hardest to bury but always found away to come out tugged at the strings of my heart as tear after tear dropped at my heart as i caught sight of the tomb that hunted me so much the tomb that held the empty carcass of the man i loved with every fiber of my body and would have readily given up my own life for his .

And when I finally stood in front of it with a full view i finally broke , everything i was able to hold in all this while because i realized, i was tired and frustrated to the very core , also angry at the world for taking him away for not taking me instead all the true bottled up emotions finally erupted like a volcano and i collapsed on my kneels and wept , wept for the loss of my first love that day marked three exact years since the world left me empty inside by taking away my own true happiness the one that was able to chase way the darkness. And when he finally left it engulfed me swallowed me whole and spat me back out but not without taking  what it wanted ,it took away who I really was leaving me as a mere shell an empty shell of who i used to be.

On the tomb read

DIMITRI STARK

JANUARY 23rd 1979 -  APRIL 15th 20012.

MAY THIS BEAUTIFUL AND GENTLE SOUL REST IN PEACE.....

And when the tears only flowed and the loud sobs seized i traced my fingers over the tomb wishing with all y might to see him again because i could give up anything just to hold him in my hands again ,i then placed the flowers over his tomb.

'' I know you are not the basic romantic and flowers aren't really your thing but I couldn't help myself" i said with a humorless chuckle staring at the tomb just hoping he was listening because we never know if our passed loved ones can hear us but i still held on to the belief that he was listening to me and probably trying to also hold me ." I miss you so much and I'm angry so so so so" i said until i broke into another round of sobs as I clutched my stomach and laid down flat o the tomb .

" much i can't believe you left me and made me make that stupidly ridiculous promise to keep fighting ..i cant believe me you left me all by myself to conquer the world , you didn't even wait any longer" i sid until my voice was cut of by my hysterical crying and the sobs that raked my body making me shake and at test moment it felt like the world finally felt my pain because what used to be a sunny bright day became shady as the sun was covered with clouds and not long rain started to pour but i still laid the because I couldn't bring myself to get up.

" you knew how much i loved you but you still left didn't you care about me , i still love you so much in fact but you are gone , you promised to never leave me but you left ,you broke your promise" I whispered yo my self.

"Why Dimitri why !" I screamed as i allowed the pain swallow me i finally embraced my own darkness .For hours i was like this just talking to myself or as i wanted to believe Dimitri.

OMG so hey its the author of the book here i can not believe hoe emotional this book just became all of a sudden , i cried while writing this you wont believe it I actually cried....................so what do you think about the sudden change of things .

I was going to write more but it felt like that would be destroying malika and dimitri' moment i have to respect the both of them and leave this chapter to them alone .........

Another chapter will probably be tomorow don't worry ill try not to disappoint .