Behind Closed Doors

Because of you -Chapter 8

"My love , do you ever, dream of, candy coated  raindrops."  I sang as I did my make up. Mom came in.

I turned my music down and turned my attention to her.

"Hey...I'm bouta head out." She said. MaLeah came running in and gave me a big hug. I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"Ight...bye y'all." I said as they walked out.

I quickly did my hair cause I know dad bitch ass will be coming soon. I put my hair in a neat bun and left out some hair for a bang. I put on my Taxi's to go with my skinnys and my black and white checkered cropped tee. Dad busted in and looked at me.

"I'm almost done -"

"Why the fuck is yo ass so happy today ?" He asked rudely.

"Huh...happy ? I'm not happy." I lied. He lifted his hand up and back handed the shit out of me.

"Don't fuckin lie ! ...What ..you got chu a lil boyfriend." He said. I shook my head as I tired to fight back the tears.

"Hmph...all I know is yo ass better be out gettin my money." He said and walked off.

I grabbed my purse and looked in the mirror. His hand print showed clearly on my right cheek. I touched it and flinched.

"Would you bring yo ass on !" He yelled from the other room. I ran out and followed him to the car.

"Ugh girl you , you workin my nerves." He said. I looked out the window.

Dad continued to talk shit until he dropped me off. I sighed and got out.

I took out my phone and looked at myself. My cheek was still red and sore.

"Aye !" I looked to see Lamar in his Chevy. I did a faint smile and got in.

"What's good mama." He said.

"Nothin." I said. He looked at and squinted. He gently grabbed my face.

"Who hit you." He said as he looked at my face.

"No -"

"Nah who hit chu ma !" He semi yelled.

I started to cry. "I can't tell him the truth ! " I thought. He won't believe me.

"Jamilah !" He yelled.

"I don't wanna talk about it !" I screamed. He stared at me.

"What ! ....Can you just drive the fuckin car ?" I spat.

"Don't get smart Jamilah !" He snapped.

There was a long awkward silence.

Lamar pulled over to this abandoned parking lot.

"What's wrong wit you ?" He asked.

"Ain't nothin -"

"Its somethin wrong." He said cutting off.

"So....what is it ?" He asked.

"Family problems....me and mama been gettin in to it lately." I said looking down.

"Why ?" He asked seriously.

"I don't know." I said as played with my fingers.

I felt him staring at me. I looked up and he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back and climbed on top of him. He pushed the sit back and laid back. He gripped my ass and tugged at my pants. I pulled his shirt off and kissed his neck. He took my pants and panties off and took me on a ride.

I fixed my hair , looking into the mirror in his car. I pulled out my Baby Lips lip gloss and put some on. Lamar handed me some money. I shoved it in my purse and laid back in the seat.

"Can I asked you somethin ?" Lamar asked.

"Yeah..wassup." I said.

"Why you doin this ?" He asked.

Millions of thoughts rushed through my head. "Because my dad makes me." I thought. I sighed.

"Cause I want to." I said. He chuckled.

"Naw....your a pretty girl. You can get a job anywhere. Yeen out chere doin this cause you want." He said.

"Look , I'm doin it to get money, just like everybody else do dirty shit to get money, just like you." I said annoyed.

"I sell cause I'm tryna make a way. Shid I'm a motherfuckin drop out, how the hell Imma make some money. But you ain't like me, I know it's something." He said.

"Yeah whatever." I said. He sighed.

"Yo mama and daddy know bout -"

"Why do you even care ! I ain't nothin but a hoe to you so why the hell do want to know my fuckin life story ? -"

"Cause I care about ya ! I know you better then this and I know this ain't you ! I thought we was coo. Me and you used to kick it back in the day so what the fuck you talkin bout !" He yelled.

"Things changed Lamar ! We ain't little no more ! You became a dope boy and I became a hoe so it is what it is ! We ain't nothin but fuck buddies anyways !" I yelled.

"Wow Jamilah wow ! You really think that ? You know what , your right. Things have changed and you my nigga changed ! Yeah I call yo ass to fuck but I only treat you the way I do cause I thought we was coo. You think that if you was any other bitch I'll give you all that money ? Apparently you need money if you doin this but I just wanna know why. " He yelled.

He pulled up to my house. I opened the door and he grabbed my arm.

"Mybad Ja-"

"Save it." I said and walked in the house.

Dad was on the couch asleep. I gently placed the money beside him.

I went to the bathroom and took a shower. I let the water run on me as I thought.

(Flashback)

"Shhh." Dad whispered as he kissed me. Tears streamed down my face as I felt a sharp pain in my area.

"It's okay daddy gots you." I whimpered.

"Dad I don't want to do this." I cried.

I don't want to do this.

(Flashback over)

I put my head in my palms and cried as the hot water ran down my skin. Why does my life have to be like this? I cried a little bit longer. I got out and dried off. I wrapped the towel around me and went to my room.

I threw on my Nike pullover hoodie and my Adidas sweat pants. I put my hair in a ponytail and laid down. My phone started ringing. It was DeShawn. I put my phone on the nightstand face down. I don't feel like talking right now. I stared at the ceiling and cried.

"A change is gonna come suga." I heard grandma say.

I continued to cry. It's like I can feel her presents or something. I shook my head and threw a pillow over my face. I guess this is how I'm going to live , all because of my dad.

A/N : Hey guys could y'all do me a favor and check out my new story My Brother's keeper. Please and thank you !