I was so confused about everything. Not because I'm idiot. But, it is full of people that makes you more confused. I grow up living with other people ( relatives) not with my own family. I wish Life is not like that with me. WISH LIFE IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT I AM NOW.
Growing up as a working student, taking care of someone else rather than your own brother's or sister. I grow up with strict Boss, the reason why I cannot decide or in other words too afraid to make decision because you we're brought up like you are not allowed to do any decision in my own life. That is how you make me too weak. I am too afraid to fight back since you input something in me that is FEAR to stand what I want.
Blaming you all my life the way how I am living right now. But then you were always right and never ever admit wrong or mistake or defeat because you always have to say about everything.
The way you say "dont you know how to decide? Why do you always give me such non sense problem, you are in charge in that but you can't stand on that position you are now. Act on your own position, not giving me so much problem, just a simple problem cannot make it?? What's the use of being in that position?
I did not ask for any position. I want to be free. But when I wanted to be free from being freed that is when you say's " you dont give value nor appreciate on everything I did to you, I clothed you, I feed you, I give you education fo fufill your future but then that is what you will return to me? You have no respect nor appreciate everything I did you are selfish, hard headed, a mess, useless. Etc call me whatever." That's what I was saying, having no freedom about you want to do in your life before you even be gone in this world.
Even if I work for what I have to eat, work for my education, work as being a maid (in you) and doing all the work just to have it with a hardwork. Not spoon feeding that. I work what I earn. So dont boost about helping me because I even work for it before I could even finish my degree. Could I even finish my study if I am not a working student? You even decide about all my life. And now I am just sending you an info just to inform you about what happening! That what will you say to me? I Cannot decide? If I did decide you once told me why are you making your own decision? You dont listen, you dont respect me, you dont know how to follow, you are hard headed. Calling me like I'm idiot.!
Where do I place myself then?if I couldn't even know how to place myself from deciding? You controlled everything, so dont ask me or tell me that we didnt do our job.
