Seeking Harry Potter

The Lie

Harry stared at the note.

He stared until he had the floo address memorized along with every swoop and swirl of the man's long hand.

Only when the owl gave a disgruntled hoot as it swept from the room did Harry finally snap out of his trance.

He didn't think he could do it.

But then again, when would he ever have the opportunity to do something like this again?

And yes, he had never touched or been touched by a man in a sexual way but he didn't exactly dislike the idea so much as he'd heavily steered his thoughts in the opposite direction whenever they went there, if only because he didn't want to deal with the drama if he did happen to like it...

That thought made Harry pause.

So what was this then? Was this Harry admitting he liked men? Because one little ad in the paper shouldn't be enough to make you question your sexuality to that extent.

No, this was a lot more than that.

Harry had spent the last year holed up in grimauld place whenever he wasn't in training.

He didn't get out much anymore. He didn't do much of anything anymore.

A lot of days felt like he was just going through the motions. In fact, Harry felt like he was doing what was expected of him just as he'd always done.

Sometimes for brief moments, he wondered if any of this was what he really wanted.

For the first time in a long time, Harry felt like he was considering doing something for himself, something that had nothing to do with what other people expected of him.

Because no one would know it was him, he was filled with an immediate sense of freedom. This was an opportunity to see what he wanted without any repercussions.

He didn't know if he actually wanted a hook up but he was stronger than any other wizard he was about to run into. He could defend himself if he needed to, and he sure as hell could leave whenever he felt like it. Everything was in his hands.

Confidence flooded him, easing his nerves.

The note didn't say what time to arrive, so Harry ambled about and even managed to get a few things done that he'd been planning to. Some of the paper work he was supposed to figure out as part of his training managed to distract him just long enough to calm him down slightly. As soon as Harry realized another two hours had passed, the tension returned to him.

Unable to wait any longer, Harry went to the washroom.

The mirror needed to be cleaned. It was in rough shape, cracked and streaked and dusty. Harry looked no better.

His hair, as usual, was a disgrace. His lips were chapped from nervously biting them all day and he had a bruise across one cheek from a well-aimed spell that Harry hadn't managed to duck in time.

He could have healed it, he supposed but with the number of cuts and bruises attained through training, Harry would rather live with the minor injuries than live in the infirmary.

Still, he went into the cupboard, pulled out some bruise cream and smeared it on.

His attempt at taming his hair went not as well and Harry let out a frustrated sigh, wondering why he ever bothered.

Well, it would be stupid to try to change his looks too much anyway, considering that he was trying to look like Harry Potter.

With that logic in mind, Harry decided not to change. Loose jeans, a black t-shirt and over sized jumper, it was pretty much his whole wardrobe anyway.

But then harry looked at himself in tbe mirror and sighed.

It was too obviously him.

With a frown, Harry pulled out his wand.

Unsure where to start, he stared at his unimpressive reflection. Little touches, he finally decided, would be best.

If he altered enough small things, it would disrupt the image, leave him looking different in a way that was hard to place and with glamours so small they were hard to detect.

He decided the hair would be easiest. He lightened it just a fraction, surprised by how the dark brown softened his features immediately.

Intrigued, Harry decided his nose should be next. Torn between making it bigger and smaller, he tried both. Harry shuddered at the button nose he'd given himself and quickly changed it back to normal, reminding himself that being subtle was key. He extended his nose ever so slightly and then lifted the bridge just as much before standing back to look at his handy work.

It wasn't bad. It gave harry an edge that looked almost dangerous. He liked it in a way but it wasn't enough.

No way would he fool anyone into thinking he was someone else the way he looked right now.

It was the eyes, Harry realized. The vibrant green was unmistakable.

He tried blue first but it just wasn't different enough.

Dark brown to match the hair was Harry's next try but his glamour wasn't quite strong enough to cover the brightness of his eyes and some of the color shone through, turning them an interesting hazel.

Harry blinked at himself.

He didn't look like him anymore. In fact, if he'd started with the eyes Harry bet that would have pretty much done the trick from the start.

As an after thought, he hid his scar and then pulled his glasses from his face and transfigured them. If someone wanted to look like Harry Potter, they definitely would have the round glasses, but Harry highly doubted that they'd go to the effort of getting the exact same pair. He thickened the frames and changed the color to a dark brown before placing them back on his face.

Then, before he could second guess himself any more than he already had, Harry went to the fireplace and threw the floo powder into it. 

He stepped into the flaring green flames.