not enough....

CHAPTER 1

DAVID

I looked in the mirror for the umpteenth time trying to make sure I looked okay before starting off to church but my face looked as muddy as my mind. Nothing clear. Nothing beautiful. I was in such a great need to escape from my life but then who would I be? Where would I go?

I picked up my make-up kits and decided to add another layer. I couldn't let everyone at church notice the dark bags under my eyes. They had already suffered enough of my newly found melancholia and almost everyone at church was asking why.
About this time, I couldn't want pity.I already had more than enough for myself.

I wiped off the pansy-colored lipstick and put on a red. Pansy portrayed too much of how I felt, red was bright. It would do fine.

I was close to two hours late for Sunday morning service,and that nearly kept me from going to church.In a confused state, I nearly took of my  clothes in pity. I felt so not good enough to go to church. I must have been having a silent quarrel with my Maker.

"Go. Just go"
I knew that gentle prodding. It was God's voice in my head.

I picked up my bag, bent over to find a silvery pair of stiletto heels.

"I won't wear those if I were you"
The flash of a thought. I picked up the shoes and properly examined them. There wasn't much to be worried about. I dismissed it as worrying too much.

As I walked out, I kept looking into the small mirror that came with my purse. I tried out different styles of smiling, I knew it was fake, that I had to tell someone that my Christianity was a sinking boat before it totally sank but I couldn't.
I had to deal with this on my own. I assured myself for the last time that things would be fine and shut the door behind me.

x.x.x.x.x

Both the pork kebab and I went flailing forward. I tried to grab something but there was nothing to hold on to.

Church had closed. People were standing in small groups, talking. Some were on their own buying Christian literature. I sighed often at the wish of having some money so I could get a book I had spotted from Papa Hagin.
I had gone to buy pork kebab with sobolo, a local drink for myself and Dave when it happened. The heels of my shoes had gone off in an instant and I tripped, fell face downward in the gravel.

I couldn't lift up myself, as my mind raced. It was the only sound for the rest of the world become lifeless fire a brief moment.
Where was Dave?
He was still supervising the ushers when I left him, making sure they packed the plastic chairs used for the service properly.

I could already feel the pain of the bruises I had suffered but it didn't match the shame. I had been feeling all good since I stepped into church this morning. A little bit over confident even. I mean all heads turned in my direction when I came in and i could still feel eyes on me as I passed to my usual Sunday seat beside Dave.

David had grinned like an idiot when I entered the service. I bet he liked what he saw. And now this? This? As I was parading beauty ?
Hmmmmm.

I guessed a lot of girls would be laughing by now. The embarrassment must have hurt more than the bruises for as soon as I begun pondering over it, the pain of the bruises slipped into nothingness.

Then I felt a pair of strong arms grab me to my feet. By those coarse palms, I could tell and flung my arms around his neck. The strongest man I knew had come to my rescue.

"David" I was almost about to cry. My eyes glisttened with tears while his, I saw glistten with love. I was forced to look away by it.