NOTHING WAS THE SAME

Chapter One;Lershai-Noelle Johnson-Walker

"Maybe each human being lives in a unique world, a private world different from those inhabited and experienced by all other humans" Phillip K. Dick

Things have been so unusual since my mum left I've grown quieter and have stopped expressing my real feelings. The voices taunt me all the time; tell me it's my fault she died, it's true, if I wasn't born she would still be here, she wouldn't have gone crazy. I'm like her, more than anyone knows, they know that I'm crazy yet they just think I'm still mourning, but I Lershai-Noelle know the truth, slowly but surely I'm becoming like her. I wish I had a sibling, maybe then I'd feel a bit better but I'm an only child, dad can't stand to look at me, says I remind him too much of my mother, I think its because I have her eyes,so I live with my Nan, well I lived with ,my Nan until she moved back to Grenada, so I live in this flat all on my own, dad pays the bills and makes sure I don't want for nothing but it's not the same, I mean most 18 year olds would love to live alone but I don't like it. I have two close friends Nickole and Samson, they know everything about me. I met Nickole when I was two and we've close ever since, and Samson, well I met him at school, he's two years older than me. He came as a guardian angel to me, when I needed him most. They keep me sane and keep me from doing harmful things.

I looked at the clock; 6.45pm. I pulled on my trainers and walked down to the shops to get something to eat I wasn't in the mood to cook. I hated coming out on my own when it was dark, all the boys from the surrounding estates fill the streets, but I'm lucky because James would be gone by now. I shuddered as I got closer to them, I could feel their eyes on me. I picked up my pace just as one of them grabbed my arm; I looked up to see James starring back at me; my heartbeat quickened.

"Lershai, why do you always walk past like you don't know anyone?" he said smirking at me. I shivered

"J-J-James leave me alone, just leave me alone." I cried. I hated this boy so much yet I was still so scared of him.

"Now why would I do that Lershai? Technically we're still together remember" he replied his grip getting tighter. I wanted to scream but I knew none of these people would help me, they were just like him. I could feel the tears falling whilst he laughed with his friends, the sound was taunting me, they were laughing at me. He stepped closer and kissed my face, I wanted to vomit

"It's a shame your mad Lershai, such a pretty face gone to waste!" he sneered digging his nails into my skin. I cried silently. All of a sudden it was silent; all I could hear was shuffling of feet.

"What have I told you about looking at Lershai, let alone touching her?" the person said. I looked up to see Samson, James let go of me fast and tried stepping away. I knew what would happen if I didn't speak.

"Samson its okay, please just leave it" I whispered tugging on his arm. He looked at James one, more time before pulling me away from them.

"Lershai, why do you always leave your phone at home man, I was worried about you and look what I see going on" he said breathing heavily as we walked into the shop.

"I'm sorry I rushed out, I didn't think I'd see James I thought I'd missed him already" I replied. He sighed and pulled me closer whilst I ordered our food. I though back to the first time I met Samson

*Flash Back*

It was lunch time and I was dreading it, my only friend wasn't here today, I sighed and dragged myself to the furthest part of the playground and sat at our usual bench. I hadn't seen James today and I was glad, I couldn't handle his mean words. I'd been sitting here 15 minutes when I noticed them walking towards me, I sighed as they reached the bench.

"James I can't believe you went out with this crazy bitch" a girl called Ebony said laughing. I bent my head so they wouldn't see the tears falling.