Protect

Chapter 19

Songs for this chapter: Apologize by One Republic

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"Ugh." I sigh to myself as Harry exits the bedroom.

I really screwed up this time. He has every right to be pissed with me. The thought of him with another girl enrages me. Let alone flirting and dancing and everything I did last night.

I remember everything clearly now. I was dancing with Jess and drinking, way too much drinking, and a guy came over to us, Louis I think his name was. I danced on the bar and he got me drinks and I remember poking his nose and being so close to him, then him trying to kiss me..

Shit! Look what you did Kris! I keep thinking to myself. I take the white pillow and sigh into it.

I remember Harry punching Louis. He was so angry and jealous as I stood there all drunk and giddy. Thank God Harry got me out of there. I wonder how Jess got home. How did Jess get there?

My head is throbbing as I recall the bits and pieces of last night that I can actually remember. I would be heart broken if it were Harry flirting with other girls. The thought of it makes my fists clench. Carrina calling him sent me over the edge. I can only imagine how he is feeling right now after seeing me grind on Louis, a guy I picked up at a bar.

Why do I ruin everything good I have?

I steadily get myself up out of bed. I need to talk to Harry. I need to hear his voice tell me its alright and that he forgives me. Then he will pick me, throw me on the bed, and make love to me and just lay in our big bed with me telling me how beautiful I am and laughing with me. I need to hear his laugh.

I stand up and my hangover is worse then I thought. The moment I stand up I am unsteady and hold onto the wall next to me. My head is pounding. I need an advil or something.

Holding onto the wall I make my way out of the bedroom. What am I wearing? I look down and I am wearing one of Harry's old sweatshirts and a pair of his sweat pants. I guess he helped me get changed last night. My heart sinks. I feel even worse that I unintentionally hurt him now.

"Harry." I say as I slowly make my way to the couch where he is watching some stupid tv show.

He doesnt turn his focus from the tv but replies "yea?" just because he is polite.

"Baby please talk to me. I was so drunk last night. I never meant any of it." I beg as I take a seat as close to him as possible when he immediately stands and walks to the kitchen.

"Dont fucking 'baby' me Kris. How would you feel if I was fucking grinding all over Carrina all night, or any girl for that matter? How would you feel if the girl who you risked your life for and give anything she wants to almost let another guy kiss her and she flirted with him!"

I feel small tears shed my eyes. My heart aches knowing how I have hurt Harry. Without him I would be dead by now. And he is right. He has give me everything. I ask for the circle line, I get the circle line. I say lets go to a club! And we go to a club, where I decide to pretty much cheat on my perfect boyfriend.

"I am a complete ass! No, really, I hate myself for doing this. You have no idea, ugh! What was I thinking? You are the only guy I want." I emphasize the word 'only.' "You are the only guy I need. I want nobody but you! Please forgive me Harry! I made a huge mistake and I wish I could take it back. I dont even remember half of it. Please." I move in front of him in the kitchen and literally beg for forgiveness.

"I get it. I understand you were drunk. But you still fucking cheated on me Kris. Well you almost did anyway. It hurt so much when I saw you poking his nose and him holding you the way I do." He starts to cry. Then wipes his tears. "I get it. You take it back and you love me and I know you love me, but I just need some time to get over it. Okay? Can you handle that? Just give me some time to breathe."