The Things I've Never Told Lindsey (A Nash Grier Fanfic)

VII. Sharing Time

It had been a week. And he still hadn't looked my way. 

After Michelle died, I had forgotten what it felt like to be close to someone. To trust someone. To love someone. And I thought I was learning again. But one mistake, and now Nash was gone too. 

My hair was piled on top of my head in one big tangle and I was wearing a baggy shirt and sweats. I walked into the group therapy room looking the worst I'd ever looked, because really, what was the point anymore? I mean, my stomach had blown up like a balloon, my boobs didn't fit into any of my bras, my ankles were swollen beyond belief, and I didn't have the energy to do anything anymore. My mom said I didn't have to go to therapy anymore if I didn't feel well enough, but something kept drawing me back. I think a small part of me hoped to make things right with Nash. Without him, the best company I had was someone who wouldn't even see my face for another six months. 

I took my seat across from Nash. He was on his phone, earbuds in. He didn't look up when I sat down.  

Patty walked in and gave us the usual spiel. Be happy! Chin up! You can do it! Stay strong! It took every ounce of willpower not to roll my eyes. After going through every sickening "inspirational" line in the book, she moved on to "Sharing Time," where we were expected to pour out our hearts and souls to all of our favorite depressed strangers. 

"This week, I need y'all to tell me a story about a struggle you're havin'. It could be somethin' that got resolved, but it'd be even more perfect if it's somethin' we can give y'all advice about. Make it from the heart, everyone. Gettin' it off your chest is already half the medicine. Now, who'd like to go first?" 

Patty scanned the room, searching for her first victim. But to everyone's surprise, the first willing participant stood to his feet with his hand raised. Nash. 

"Brilliant, Nash!" Patty said. "Why don't you stand right up here, darlin'." 

Nash stood at the front of the circle. For the first time in a week, he stared me straight in the eyes. 

"There's something I've been struggling with, actually, and I'm glad I can take this opportunity to talk about it. You see," Nash scratched the back of his neck, a nervous smile spreading across his face, "the one person I'd normally share this with was the one person I couldn't tell." 

It was almost as if he had punched me in the stomach. What was he doing? What was he going to say? Was he going to tell everyone that I'm pregnant? That I lied? As I sat there in my chair, my hands shaking uncontrollably, I realize that no one had ever held that much power over me in my life. 

"My problem is actually pretty simple. Last weekend, I found out that my best friend was keeping something from me. It was something extremely personal. And I overreacted." Nash looked down at his feet, then looked up again at me. "I got really mad, I yelled at her, and we haven't talked since. I think she might be blaming herself for what happened. But the thing is, I don't really care about the fight. The truth is, I'd support her no matter what. The problem is, we haven't spoken, she might be mad, and I may lose her for good. But I can't lose her, I can't lose my best friend. Because..." Nash pauses and looks away from me, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Because I'm absolutely in love with her." 

Wait...what did he just say? 

"Why, that is an issue," Patty says. "Does anyone have advice for our friend Nash, here?" 

Without thinking, I stood up. 

"I actually have a similar problem. And I feel terrible, because I was keeping a secret from one of the only people in my life I trust. I don't know why I didn't tell him anything, actually. Because I'm in love with him, too." 

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Hey loves, 

I haven't updated in forever, and I don't think I'll update again very soon. But I'm still here, and I'll get this story done someday. 

I love you all. 

xxCharlotte