STAR WARS the awakening of awakening

Warning: minority of swears and this story is coming from a person who's only seen the original star wars; ak47, me.

It was a cold, dry night for Luke Skywalker, Yoda, R2D2, (which is weird since R2d2 can't feel cold or dry) Hans solo... wait uh, shit Did he die in the newer movie.   Crap, I should look this up...... Okay he did, thanks google. The tan girl with horns and Gandalf were the too.

They were stranded on another planet because that's where the author put the characters. (Jeez, you wouldn't believe how annoying auto correct is)
"Crap, does anyone know where we are?" Luke said.
"We seem to be on a planet," Yoda answered.
"Oh, really, I had no idea," the horned girl said, sarcastically.

"Leave me alone, I'll have you know I'm the wisest of the star wars series or franchise or whatever, isn't that right author. (Oh f***, uh yeah I think so, I mean...don't you have a brother messa whos wiser or, uh, uh is he even your brother.)

R2D2 then shouted, "Shut up Yoda, your an old hairy, booger!" (Don't ask how he talks).
"Oh, roasted someone get the fire extinguisher!" Gandalf yelled.
Gandalf is one of the main characters from the star wars series since day one after he saved the life star. (There was a life star not just a death star right? Yeah probably, Mewyrose and Julio will agree.)

Gandalf is the one who built his famous invention, the Gandalf stick. It zapps people and has been a character in starwars for as long as Luke Skywalker. He killed all the Roger things with it before.

Luke and Gandalf went to scavenge for food and water, but all they found was salty water and pineapple pizza. Eww.
"Hey Yoda, wanna hear a joke? Luke asked.
"Okay," yoda replied.
"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom," Luke questioned.
"Because he had no"body" to dance with," Yoda said.
"No, because he was fat, ugly, and no one liked him!" Luke said.

Just then, a group of white jedis walked towards them. (White jedis are nice, right? And black ones aren't? That's kind of racist, not gonna lie. They offered food and said goodbye.
YAY!! Rainbows and cupcakes were flung from the sky, but killed Luke and yoda, and everyone else. Sorry.

The end.

Friends, don't get triggered.