Prison

four

nyah hawkins

My brain was filled with fog. Thick fog that clouded everything I thought I knew about myself. The weekend meant two full days to defog my brain and remind myself why Jaxon and I couldn't happen. Easier said than done.

Blasting in my ears, music distracted me from any thoughts other than my run. My heavy footsteps and out of rhythm breaths were the only things I allowed myself to focus on. In any other town, running at night wasn't an option. But night runs were one of my favourite things about Langley. We didn't have danger here like other towns.

"Nyah, can we please fucking slow down? I don't feel good."

I turned to my side, forgetting that this time I had company joining my run. My little cousin was in town for the weekend and insisted she could keep up with me. Clearly not.

We got more into the centre of town where there were dozens of different stores all still open. I stopped the run when I looked into a cafe window shop. Jaxon sat at a coffee table across from a woman. I didn't recognize her. My hands were clammy and cold sweat dripped along my face. Jaxon's gaze met mine. His face remained with the same lack of emotion that he shows everyone. I pulled my eyes away from him and began walking. This whole small town thing was becoming a pain. Of all people, I had to see Jaxon. And at this time of night too.

"Is that the kid that's been on the news?" Genie questioned with too much excitement in her voice. Considering she was from the city, I was surprised to hear the news was discussing Jaxon.

Before I even had the chance to respond to her, there was a loud thud. I turned around, seeing Genie laying on the ground filled with cold snow.

"Genie. Genie!" I knelt, trying to pull up her limp body but she was completely unconscious. I brought my fingers to her neck in search of a pulse. Subtle rhythm went under the tips of my fingers. She was breathing.

"What happened?" Jaxon hovered over the both of us.

"I-I don't know. She said she wasn't feeling well then passed out," my voice was filled with panic. Though not my fault, if she was injured it would still feel like my responsibility.

"We'll take her to the hospital," he picked her up like her body was a feather and I followed him to wherever he was parked. He carefully placed her in the back where I sat beside her to monitor her breathing. She looked fine. I didn't understand how something like this could happen.

My eyes remained on her the entire drive. Jaxon drove with a hustle until we arrived at the emergency wing of the hospital. He carried her from the truck as I rushed through the entrance doors.

"Hi. I need help!" I alerted one of the nurses who quickly provided us with assistance. Genie was placed on a gurney while I told them all the necessary information that I could think of. Then like that they just took her away. I didn't know what to do.

My feet remained in place as if any minute now, Genie would walk into the waiting area. Time passed and all I could do was stand still in shock of the events. As the shock passed, I made sure to make calls to both her parents and mine. When my legs finally grew tired, I sat beside Jaxon who managed to remain calm.

"Who was that person you were seated with?" I hoped conversation might distract me from my severe lack of patience.

"None of your business." A slice at my fucking confidence. He said that with no hesitation, though he was completely right. Why I thought it was appropriate to ask such a question was beyond me. "Sorry. I just...I don't do good in hospitals." After a small glance his way, I noticed his finger tapping against his lap and the way his breaths were jagged.

I reached over, letting my arm go around his while my free hand covered his. He was warm and I could feel all the muscle in his arm just under my fingers. He stared at my hand over his. Stared at it like he was ready push me from him. But he didn't. He let me lean my head to his shoulder. I felt all the tension brewed up in his body go away. The smell of his cologne filled my nose—tarragon and cinnamon.

"They've never been my favourite either," I whispered, my thumb running in circles on the top of his hand. My eyes began to doze off, struggling to keep them awake. His shoulder was oddly comfortable despite the muscle. Going to sleep seemed easier than allowing my worries to eat me alive.

"Don't fall asleep, Nyah," Jaxon whispered, his hand cupping my cheek as he looked at me. "I'm gonna get you some coffee," he was careful with shrugging my body off of his as he stood up to go to the coffee machine. Keeping my eyes open was a challenge that I was unfortunately losing. As soon as he got up, I felt him pull away all the warmth with him and leave a hole on my body in every place he touched.

I leaned forward when he hunched in front of me with coffee in hand. Drinking a sip, I looked at it with distaste. He brought hair behind my ear, keeping his gaze on mine for longer than it needed to be. Not being able to bear the weight of his eyes, I looked away.

"Thank you." I wasn't thanking him for the coffee.

"Don't thank me," he leaned to place a kiss on my forehead. My cheeks instantly warmed. "I am gonna head out. Your family is probably going to be here any minute now." His voice was anything but convincing. The longing in his eyes told me he would stay if he could.

I nodded. "You're right." The last thing my parents needed to see was Jaxon right now.

"If you need anything, you call me. Okay?" He reached into the pocket of my hoodie to bring out my phone. He held it in front of me to unlock before proceeding to add his phone number.

"Will do," I agreed with a small smile. With a curt nod, he stood and began exiting the waiting area. "Wait, Jaxon," I spoke, my body instantly standing to make my way over to him.

I wanted to tell him to stay because as much as I didn't need him here, I really wanted his presence. But even my heart knew better than to ask such a thing, especially from the fear that he might actually say yes.

"Did I say thank you?"

His lips twitched as his mouth formed a smirk. "You did," he whispered, slowly bringing his head down to mine. Closing my eyes, I felt his lips brush against mine. Suddenly my body was longing to be held and touched by him. "I make you nervous?"

I smiled as my eyes opened to look at him. "A lot of things make me nervous. Don't feel special," my hands went onto his chest, softly pushing him back. I let him leave the hospital and he was soon replaced by my family.

The doctors eventually came and informed us that it was just a stomach bug and Genie would be fine. They said she would be discharged but it felt like it was taking hours. I couldn't sit, so I remained leaning against a wall in the room.

I walked outside, taking out my phone to make a call. It rang and rang and rang. It was almost 1am so the chances of an answer were slim. But I got one.

"Hi. Sorry if I woke you. I totally forgot about the time," I dragged my hand down my face as I leaned against the building. I waited for a reply, questioning if this number was even correct at all. "Hello."

"I'm here," Jaxon finally spoke up. His voice sounded raspier than usual. I clearly did wake him up.

"They said Genie is gonna okay. She has a stomach bug. Don't know how that causes someone to pass out, but I didn't question it," I shook my head, refusing to talk to anymore doctors or be inside there any longer. I memorized every detail of that waiting room. It was driving me insane.

"That's great. That's why you called me?"

I gulped. I called because I wanted to hear his voice but so far he only spared me nine words. "Yeah. I just thought I should update you because I know you're losing sleep over this." The nervous jokes were making an appearance.

"Tossing and turning. Continuously checking my phone for the time. Appreciate the update. I think I'll actually be able to sleep now." The more we talked about sleep, the more my mind pondered on what he could be wearing right now. What did he wear to sleep? I should slap myself.

"I'm happy I could restore that for you. Goodnight."