Tainted Attitude

All the Beans

As a teenager in a boarding school for magical students, I don't expect everyone to like me. Then, as a maturing human I shouldn't care when people don't. As my Dad used to say, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" (which I think he might have borrowed from someone else). Regardless of where it came from, he was a man of equity and loyalty who inspired others to do the right thing.

However, it's hard to take his advice now as half the school mocks me with my mother's annoying laugh, whilst the other half stares at me and whispers to their groups.

Honestly! I've been here for almost five years and the moment they meet my mother, they decide to treat me as if I'm an entirely different person!

Last year at the end of the Yule Ball, a few of us Hufflepuff girls stayed up way past midnight and chatted about the dance and boys. The following days were filled with excited chatter about how lovely the whole night was; I would pass people in the hall who I have rarely spoken to prior, and we would smile and wave to each other. Even the toughest and most secluded Ravenclaw students had smiles on their faces and weren't worried (as much) about their upcoming homework and exams.

Yesterday as we were all sitting on the train, my best friends Holly and Emilia found my compartment and we all had a three-way hug.

'Oh my gosh! How was your summer?' Emilia asked me, her short sunny-blonde hair bouncing as she plopped herself down on the red leather seat beside the window.

I looked at her and sighed. 'Well, Mum is even more tense now than she ever has been. I think there was some kind of big trial or hearing over the holidays – she was really shaken up.' Holly's grey eyes widened as we both sat down, myself beside Emilia and Holly on the other side of the window.

'When did this hearing happen?' Holly asked.

'Umm... in August.' I answered. Thinking back, I tried to recall the specific day. 'The 12th I think. Why is that?'

Holly leaned in closer to us and said, 'I think that was a hearing for Harry Potter.' Emilia gasped.

Emilia's brown eyes were now as open as Holly's. 'What do you think he did?'

I shrugged. 'What ever he did, it was enough aggravate the Minister and my mother so he must have either done something bad, or they're mad that he has no consequences.'

'Didn't your mum tell you anything about it?' Emilia asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

Shaking my head, I told them, 'She never shares anything to me about work, unless it involves changes to rules and regulations for wizards or has to do with our school. Even then, she rarely ever tells me.' Holly frowned and sat back against her seat.

'That's stupid. When my parents were together, they always told me about their missions and all the dangers they went through when they were Aurors.' Holly smiled at the memories, then closed her eyes and her expression changed to one of annoyance. 'Now, Mum can't even get Norton off the bloody couch and away from his precious beer for even ten minutes.'

'Hey, Hol, your mum is trying her best,' comforted Emilia in a soft voice and placing a hand on her knee. Holly looked up and ran a hand through her red-dyed hair.

'Yeah, maybe. But why did she choose him?' She gestured to the floor in disgust and confusion. 'The most he can lift is his ass to go to the loo, and his hand to drink and change the telly.'

Amongst the confusion and angst in Holly's face, her eyes showed a hint of pity. I sat forward a little and reassured her, 'My mother hasn't always been this hard on people. She used to have an essence of life around her, albeit not that large, but it was there. What I saw that no one else did, was that she truly cared for my dad and loved him with all the emotion she had left in her heart.' I paused to study how Holly was responding to what I was saying, and continued, 'When he died, all of that left her. The essence is gone. Without my dad, she can never be that person anymore because all her love for him went with him to the grave.