depression isn't sadness. depression is suffering. depression is it's own category of pain, one of which no one deserves. this sort of pain is special, gifted to those who deserve it the least. don't minimize depression, it's as serious as any mental illness. don't say they did it to themselves, they didn't. there is no cause of depression, some people are simply born with it, while others had it pulled from them. no matter where it came from or how it affects the victim, it is a serious mental illness, do not talk down to depression.
Do you ever just hit that one special point? That moment that is your final and last breaking moment. You clearly can't handle anything else, because you've done all you can and nobody else seems to give a damn? Too many favors gone un-thanked. Too many personal moments ruined by obligation. Too many times of people telling you it won't be possible because they need you to do something more than you need to do whatever it is for yourself. I cannot begin to explain in words the amount of sadness, frustration, and border line insanity it requires to function with this feeling in my chest, hanging over my heart. Every. Single. Day. It hurts to breathe. Oxygen doesn't process lately. My mind is a constant repeating track of everything else I've fucked up on. Everything else I could have done better, should have done better. I want my time back. I want my moments back. I want my life back.
wednesday, december 14, 2016 2.19pm
