Shattered Pieces

Surprise

I am awakened by the footsteps pacing in the hallway outside my bedroom door. Casidee. She's probably wanting to ask me something but waiting for me to wake up so she doesn't have to wake me herself. So I slide out of bed and my bare feet are chilled by the frozen hard wood floor pressed against them. I ease open the door a crack to find her staring at the floor biting her nails.

"What do you want?" I mumble due to still being half asleep and a bit hung over. My body aches in pain with every subtle move I make. I can feel my sides throbbing and try not to show pain in my face.

"It's dad." she says in a soft, haunting tone.

"What about him?" We haven't heard from him in years and just accepted the fact that he left. He's never coming back because he doesn't love us. He's moved on.

"He called this morning. He wanted to talk to you but I told him you were sleeping. He asked me to have you call him when you woke up." She says while stumbling on her words a bit. I can tell she was shaking. Was it because it's cold or because she can't believe that he actually remembers us.

"Ok. I'll call him later." I groan as I crawl back into bed still wearing yesterdays clothes.

Casidee begins to walk away but stops and turns back. "Happy birthday, by the way."

Ughh. It is my birthday, isn't it? Already the seventh of December and already sixteen years old. Why am I still alive.

I lay in bed until noon drifting between sleep and partial consciousness. I don't want to get up and face the day. Especially not the asshole that abandoned us for ten years. He can't just turn up out of no where expecting me to call him back like nothing ever happened. He missed my entire childhood for fuck's sake. What could he possibly want from me??

I eventually get up and get the phone from the kitchen downstairs with a note next to it.

Here's his number! Happy birthday and I hope you have a great day, Kat!!

Love, Casidee              p.s. I'll be at work until late tonight as so will mom. I'll celebrate with you tomorrow

I punch in the number and anticipate his harsh tone picking up on the other line. Instead I'm greeted by an almost loving, deep tone.

"Hello Kat. Do your friends still call you that? Happy sixteenth birthday!" You could almost hear his smile from the other line.

"Thanks. And people still do call me Kat." I roll my eyes because I don't have any friends anymore to call me Kat but I don't feel like explaining that right now.

"What are you doing on this special day? Gonna have a big sweet 16?"

"No. I'm just going to be sitting around the house all day, alone."

"Well, listen. I called to see if you wanted to hang out for your birthday." He says just barely and I could tell he was nervous and anticipating my response. "I'm in the neighborhood and can come pick you up around five if you would like.."

NO. Who the hell does he think he is?? Missing my 7th to 15th birthdays then thinking one day together will fix all of that?! Fuck no! ... But I do want to know what this is all about so let's just see where this goes.

"It doesn't matter to me. I'm not doing anything."

"Great! I'll swing by at 5. I have it planned out already.

woooo-hooo I'm jumping with joy -_- ughhhhhh

I sit in the bathroom while the hot water is rushing and let the steam fill the room. I let it fog the mirrors so I can no longer see my disgusting, fat, ugly, worthless self. I take out the blade I hide under my contacts in the medicine cabinet. Just as I drag it across a fresh patch of skin on my wrist the steam fogs up the rest of the mirror and I lose myself.