The car slowly drew away and I was so excited and insanely happy. I had just been on the new state of the art rollercoaster Air. I loved the part where it whirled your upside down so you felt like you were falling but you knew the harness would keep you safe. I plugged myself into my music and prepared myself for the long ride home. I knew it would be at least 5 hours until I was in my bed, most definitely more. This slightly dampened my mood but I was still determined to live out that high. My mum and my brother were in the front talking animatedly about their favourite rides. Closing my eyes I tuned into my music and let the melodies and the harmonies envelope me.
My eyes snapped open to the wail of a siren. It was burning my ears and I tried to get up to run. I couldn't. The panic was rising up inside me and my deep breaths only seemed to be fuelling it. I opened my mouth to scream and... nothing. I tried to move again, more desperately now. The edges of the blue sky I could see were beginning to blur. A face appeared and it took me a while before I realised it was the face of a paramedic. He was frantic and I could see the tears of desperation and frustration in his eyes as he struggled to hook me up to the life support that could never save me. I was too far for that now. I knew I was dying.
He cradled my head in his arms. His tears fell onto my cheeks and joined my own. His breathing ragged, his eyes screwed up in denial. The tears still fell like rain. His hands shook as he cradled my head. The tears still fell like rain. "Goodbye" I whispered. He shook his head and frantically tried to make the life support save me. His lips were moving and he was probably calling for backup on his radio but I could have sworn it was a prayer.
The light was so dark know and I knew that all I had to do was close my eyes and let go. Now I knew what was happening I assumed the pain or the panic would stop. It didn't stop, if anything it just seemed to build.
The lights went out.
I shot bolt right up in bed, drenched in sweat. I sat there and fought for control over my heart rate. It continued to hammer away and I gave up. I lay back down and I noticed my cheeks were wet with salty tears. I could feel the sob rising inside me. It was out before I could stop it. I felt sick to the core, as if I had been caught looking at something I shouldn't have been. I cried my way into the early morning against my pillow to muffle my sobs. I'm sure Luke, lying next to me heard and so did Johnathon from across the room. In fact, I would even bet my mother and my sister heard me through the wafer thin walls.
