Life

Chapter 3~Middle School Pt 2

7th grade was the worst. It was bad because I let people know my secret. They didn't believe me so I attempted suicide, I swallowed 9 pretty strong sleeping pills, And all I got was me really tired in the morning . It was all because I told them one secret. Which was I had sold myself before, which I had. It wasn't even that bad I knew the people. I had been friends with them for years and they just wanted to experiment. I didn't care because I didn't really feel anything around that time .I would just wonder around wondering what I was doing with my life. The answer. Nothing. They confronted me, And eventually I ended up telling them about my father. BIG MISTAKE. Anyway I told people I thought I could trust, Well I wrong because in the end half the of the 7th grade thought I lied about being raped. The worst part John believed the bitch who told him I lied, Instead of believing me. That bitch was also my bestfriend. I know its horrible. To find out that the people you love tell people your biggest secret was a lie.

<"Drip. Drip. Drip. That's what the blood would sound like if it made sound". That's what I think as I sit in my bathtub in the dark. I look down at my bloody wrist and thighs. I never thought I could feel so lonely. All the friends I had, All the people I thought loved me, Hate me now. I'm back in that place in my head I was before. Wishing I could die, praying I would die. I wish I was as brave as my sister was. I don't wanna be here. I feel a flashback coming I try to stay in reality as I fade into my own memory.. *STOP, STOP, STOP PLEASE, PLEASE DAD, STOP. I scream as he ignores me more. I try to squirm free but he just tightens his grip on my arms. I scream more only knowing he'll continue to ignore me. * More tears down my face. I hate when that happens. I scream out loud instead of in my head like I meant to. Lucky for me moms a hard sleeper but I knew that sound. Tony. >

Eventually they "forgave" me. Even though the only one that should have been doing the forgiving was me.  I just tried to forget about the whole thing. But sadly I don't  forget things easily. If I did I would have A lot less problems. I hate when people act like their problems are more important then mine, I understand some people do. But if your biggest fucking problem is that your mom might ground you for getting a bad grade .I don't want to hear it. Honestly when I hear someone say something like that I lose a little bit of myself, Because they make me think about my problems. Which are worse.