What If; If Only

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2018
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     What if I hadn't thought "how do you know you're in love?"  What if I hadn't asked for help? What If I had kept my feelings to myself? Would I have made it this far? No, but what if things change? What if I'm lying to myself? How many times would I have to doubt myself before my doubts became the truth?

     I can't remember a time that I didn't ask questions; how many of my "what if's" have turned into "If only's;" When my doubts only made things worse. E'en though I can't recall it, there must've been a time when I acted on a whim; a time when nothing scared me; a time when only "me" mattered. Hell, I don't even know my name anymore.

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