You Don't Even Know Her

Chapter 1

I referred to my crushes as numbers. There were eight in total - not counting her though.

#1 was a thing in seventh grade. It was immediately shut down once people found out that I liked that girl. She hated my guts after it, and I don't blame her for that; I hate me too sometimes.

#2, #3, and #4 were all in the same year: freshman year. All three of them rejected me when I confessed that I liked them. Out of the three of them, I didn't really know two: #2 and #4. To this day, they must think that I'm some desperate creep.

The same goes for #5, #6, and #7, all of whom rejected me in sophomore year. I really thought I was getting somewhere, but in reality, I was getting nowhere. It all became a game to me, and my friends cheered me on.

"Addie, who's #8"

"I bet you he's on #15 and he just hasn't told us."

"Addie, you're gonna have to marry all of them you know."

Those were the types of comments I'd get from most of my friends. There really was no safe haven for me other than video games.

It was finally when I got over #8 rejecting me that I decided I wouldn't try anymore. The "game" got boring too quickly, and it only resembled how miserable my love life was.

Then I enter junior year, where I didn't have to worry about making dumb moves or thinking that I like someone when I don't even know them. There was no such love life, which meant no more worries and no more stress.

But then there was her.