xiv.

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dear oliver,
while you were "studying" with
her, i watched, gazed, cried, and sighed
when the children curled their fingers
around the dangling string of the kites.

light as feathers, they flew into the
clouds; chasing after the kite like light
twirling past the world.

falling back into the blue ocean,
i felt as if my soul gets evaporated into
the empty air. but then again i'm too fat
to hold onto a lifeline-thin thread and fly high
into the sky that's too blue for angels
to peek at.

i'm too big for the kite to bear my weight.
the number on the scale defined my life,
oliver. i cannot smile, it'll raise the
skin to steps closer to being hideous,
ugly, a freak, to become suicidal.

quinn

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