six | bad things

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six | bad things


We just got home and all I could think about is Colson. I dropped my mother's baggage and quickly ran through his room and I felt adrenaline rush going through my body.

When I opened his room... I didn't saw him there. I only saw his messy and quiet room- it feels really depressing.

I sigh and closed the door.

What if he's in Ashley's house? Well, that's better because he doesn't have to be alone.

I ran through my room and opened it, but then I stopped for a moment when I saw someone's figure, sitting on my body while holding something.

I bit my lower lip and smile like an idiot while watching him.

"Colson, I checked your room, but you weren't there and you're just here sitting in my bed-" I greet him wholeheartedly with my positive energy, but then what I saw stiffened me.

A brown piece of notebook and he closed it harshly with his one hand.

"Hey, what are you doing?! You're invading my privacy," I grabbed my diary and he let me do that. He couldn't even look at me straight in the eye- he is disgusted.

He is disgusted of what I have wrote...

12.14.16

Dear Diary,

I decided to write this because simply I couldn't tell anyone about my issue, this issue. But if you ever read this... Forgive me, Colson

It's been a year since I felt this feeling. I thought I was just assuming, but I was wrong, definitely wrong! When I found out that I have a heavy feelings for you, so many emotions have come through myself.

But if really being inlove with you is bad, then I should just keep it as a secret.

Please, Diary. Don't let him know about this,

My brother, Colson Baker.

"I..." before I could speak, I heard him cuss, kicked my bed.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he shouted and held my shoulders together like I'm just a piece of crap to him and it fucking hurts!

"It's not like what you think!" even though I'm caught in action, I still manage to lie.

"I can explain everything!" I added shouted back while shaking. I don't even know how to explain it to him.

"You don't have to! I read everything!" he faced me again.

"-You're the reason why Ashley and I broke!" and with that, he walked out slammed the door.

My knees are getting to soft that all I can do is to bent and sat in this floor.

For this moment, I felt myself sobbing.

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