A.M. ↠ zarry AU

quixotic

quix·ot·ic

/kwikˈsädik/

adjective

exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical.

×××

Last night felt like more than just sex. Zayn had left Harry feeling euphoric, on cloud nine, and, even once he had left, Harry replayed everything. The things Zayn said, how his voice sounded, how he moved his body, and even what his face looked like as pleasure pulsed through his veins.

Days and weeks passed by and seasons had changed, now it was the month of November with the festive spirit soon to approach everyone.

"Liam?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

The crunchy sound of the dead leaves and small twigs being crushed against his boots was oddly soothing to him. "... I really like Zayn."

"Him or his wallet?" Liam knew the answer to his question but he just wanted to make double sure and have Harry admit it.

Harry throws an annoyed glance at Liam. "Him, I like him as a person. I don't care about his money anymore." He mumbled the last part.

Liam pursed his lips and lifted the collar of his coat so that his neck would stay warm on this particular windy day. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He knew that this would happen. "It's never gonna work out, Harry, you know that, right?"

Liam looked over to his friend when he didn't reply. "He's not gonna end up leaving his husband or wife for you, Haz.. people like that never do.. They'll just use you for their own needs until they're no longer broken, that's why you gotta shove your feelings aside in a job like this. He's literally just your paycheck at the end of the day, nothing more and nothing less." Liam had constructed an image of what he perceived Zayn to be like based on the things Harry had mentioned about him, and from what he could understand, Zayn didn't give two damns about Harry.

"I can dream, right?"

"You shouldn't." Liam chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

"Why not?"

"It's a waste of time. You're only going to end up hurting yourself by fawning over something that you can't ever have." Liam didn't want to say that as harshly as he did but he didn't want to see Harry get hurt. The fact of the matter is, they both knew that this was the truth, it was just hard to accept, like swallowing a giant pill with no water.

"Haven't you ever been in love, Liam?"

Do escorts fall in love? Are they capable of it?

Harry used to be one of those people who didn't believe in love, didn't care about it, didn't think that it was essential to him and, then Zayn came strolling into his life and changed his mind and now he became one of those people that he would make fun of. "Are you even able to have a relationship when you're in this line of job?"

"It's difficult I admit, yeah, and yes. I have been in love. A while back though, but not with a client, never with a client - hell not even with a fellow worker... You know that you have to end things, right Harry?" Liam said and the wind picked up around them, sending leaves of orange, yellow and brown dancing around them.

"Mm," Harry replied with a curt nod but Liam did not believe him just one bit. Eager to talk about something else, Harry quickly spoke again. "I had the weirdest dream the other night." Harry said as the approached the little café they wanted to have some coffee at.

"About?" Liam asked sitting down outside the shop at the small round table.

"I was a kid, maybe ten?" Harry pulled a face and shrugged, leaning on the table. "And I was at the playground by myself... I went over to the monkey bars and everything was going fine when I heard someone call my name and distract me, and my hand missed one of the bars - and that feeling, God it was so awful, it felt so real that I woke up gripping my sheets so tightly." Harry finished and shook his head.

"Man, that's ... "

"Pretty accurate?" Harry finished for him.

"Well, -"

"Trying to grasp something I can't get a hold of." Harry smiled and his eyes dropped down to the table, looking at the bowl full of sugars and sweeteners. Even when he tries to avoid Zayn, he can't and his mind goes running back to relate something to him.

Liam didn't get a chance to reply because of the waiter standing by his side but once he left, decided against saying anything at all. After ordering their coffee a group of two couples walked past the boys. The men with their hands wrapped around their girlfriends' shoulders, talking with bright smiles on their face.

"Have you ever thought about retiring from the lifestyle, Liam?" Harry asked and stared at the couple as they rounded the corner.

"Yeah," Liam smiled and answered him honestly. "Thought sometime along the line I'd just become a personal trainer when I got tired of everything."

"When." Harry laughed.

"You tired of it already?" Liam asked.

Harry shrugged and scrunched up his nose, "Nah, you'll know when .. but it's going to start getting impractical somewhere along the line."